8.29.2008

Hey John! It’s Not Just Hillary....

It’s ALL women, dude! The same people who hate Hillary and don’t want a woman president...are not gonna put a neophyte female within a heartbeat of the red phone.

Dude...what were you thinking? You’re 72 years old...happy birthday..BTW (that’s by the way, since you don’t know computer)....You’re almost at your biblical allotment of time on this planet...your ticker is slowing down....people question whether you can handle it because of your age and forgetfulness....

And you choose a woman as running mate?

Smacks of desperation to me....your vicious attacks on Obama haven’t given you the bounce the little rovies told you, you would get. The details of your policies are a wee bit sketchy. I know man, it’s hard to cram...I had trouble doing it when I was studying econ....and the fact you never studied in the first place and now rarely pay attention to what’s going on....I’m sure your head is swimming in this brave new century...

I know, I know....You’re trying to keep the “Cindy” effect going....she takes care of you...pays for your houses and buys you those expensive ferragamo loafers...she wants you to look good and prosperous.

Compared to her...I can understand why you think anyone making less than 5-million dollars is just middle class.

Do you get free beer too? I read somewhere where she had a Clydesdale statue on the lawn instead of a jockey.

So you chose Governor Palin to take care of you and draw out the monolithic female voting block. All those soccer moms in the Midwest...those upward climbing middle management multitasking superbabes in the west...and those frustrated Hillraisers in the east...spurned by your opponent.

I’ll bet you think they’re all just dropping their drawers, waiting with baited breath to see you get to the White House now that you’ve chosen a female running mate.

Wow, If governor Palin had been black.....maybe you would’ve pulled people like me...black and lesbian women....

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That’s too much to hope for.

But John, choosing a woman running mate is sooooooooooo 20th century....Didn’t Mondale do that already....and I don’t recall a President Mondale anywhere in history....and I actually like Geraldine...not Flip....Ferraro...

And, John, what about this war thing.....is she qualified to command our troops...will our allies talk to her? Oh, I my bad....your buddy George has chased away all of our allies...We stand proudly alone in this universe, right now.

John, there are still the problems of all those bothersome female issues.......equal pay, health care, child care, education.....

Is Governor Palin gonna change your mind. Or is it just more of the same..Stand behind your man and shut up, unless I remember you’re there, and ask you a question or volunteer you to model a bikini or something....

I don’t know what I’m gonna do, John, I was all prepared for Max Headroom...I even had my subject line already picked out.......The Manchurian candidate Meets Max Headroom...

I guess I’ll have to file it away for another day..

Well, John...Happy birthday, again...you take care of yourself...get in a good nap in coming days...you’re gonna need it...
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