Torture Porn

I learned a new phrase today while scanning through a review of the movie SAW IV, due in theaters tomorrow. I was thinking of going to see it, since I own the previous three versions of this series.

Torture porn, was the reviewer’s way of describing this latest flick and others of the genre. I am wondering when we moved from slasher flicks to torture porn, but then that’s what it means to get old. When I hear a phrase these days it’s probably already out of date rather than cutting edge. Anyway, back to the subject at hand.

The phrase alleges that people who watch these kinds of movies have basically become numb to the violence, blood and guts that permeates these films (are they still films and not videos?!). That it’s a new way to “get off” so to speak, hence the term “porn.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......I liked the first SAW..the second was pretty good too...but the third one was forgettable....can’t even remember the plot...and there was a plot in both of the first two....

I think that’s why I didn’t like HOSTEL or any of the Jason movies or Hellraiser movies or even Texas Chainsaw movies. I still need plot to go along with the violence. It can’t be gratuitous violence. I don’t mind gratuitous sex if it’s done artfully and with a point to do something other than get me hot, unless it is porn, of course.

The difference for me is that porn I can watch again and again, until I’m bored. Gratuitous violence and blood and guts is a one time thing. I won’t watch the first time, if I don’t perceive that a story is behind the work. Watching people die violently is not entertaining to me.

I still prefer a story first. What surrounds and tells the story comes second. I prefer “scares” to be psychological or more in my mind. That’s why the scariest scene I have ever witnessed remains Hitchcock’s shower scene in Psycho. I was more disturbed by reading “The Exorcist” then by seeing it. Most books I read twice. I have never been able to read that one a second time.

Yet, I don’t know what it is about the SAW movies. I really do want to see this latest one. I know that it is going to be bathed in blood and torture. I am fascinated by the torture methods for one. The previous ones have all been drawn from real history. I want to see how Jigsaw accomplishes it since he was dead at the end of the last one, too. I guess he’s found another disciple to carry on.

When I think about scary movies a few come to mind and this is after I started facing them. When I was a kid, I would hide my eyes or dive into the back seat at the drive in rather than watch the horror unfold. I would only listen and that was so much worse than watching. My nightmares absolutely killed me. My dad finally told me to make myself watch and then it wouldn’t be so bad. He was right. Once I started watching, the scares went away.

Scary movies for me......Psycho....Revulsion (french)....Halloween....The Fog....Scream (opening scenes with Drew Barrymore).....Jeepers Creepers (opening scene, kids in car)....The Exorcist....Darkness Falls.....Nightmare on Elm Street......Alien.....Friday the 13th (Jason was not the killer).....The rest of the slasher genre are unoriginal or remakes of the ones I just listed.

You know what, after writing this..the SAW movies don’t scare as much as they interest me. Hmmmmmmmmm....maybe it is porn after all. .


Chicken Little Speaks


Did you flinch?

Me neither. Dubya has taken his fearmongering to a whole new level. Now he’s uttering the BIGGGGGG “W” word.....WAR....as in World War III..

He says the world has to disarm Iran if we want to avoid WWIII. Anyone who has been listening with a tin ear for the past year and a half knows that the neocons can’t wait to drop a bomb on Iran. If we weren’t already in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Cheney-Bush cabal would probably already have troops on the ground playing find the ayatollah.

I agree that Iran represents a threat. But I don’t agree that military action is the answer. I’m still waiting for Condi to grow some cojones and do the job she is paid to do...be a diplomat and stop this craziness. Enough of this “stand by your man” crap. That’s Laura’s job. She married him.

Dubya’s ratings have dropped to a new low. He’s lower than tricky dick Nixon and that’s low. Dubya just doesn’t get it. He thinks he’s still relevant and is telling anyone who will listen.

The difference is Nixon was smart enough to understand his self inflicted predicament. Nixon was a lot of things..a crook, a racist, a misogynist, an egotist...but he was not stupid...Nixon was a very intelligent and politically astute man. He knew when to say “when.”

Dubya just wants you to pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth no matter what he says, whether or not it makes sense.

Since I’ve never liked beating up on weaklings, this is my last column on Dubya. I am relegating him to the honorary Ann Coulter closet that I reserve for all those people who I deem to be walking wastes of oxygen.

So Dubya now joins the likes of Rush, and Michelle and Alan, and Nancy and Mitch and Glen and Oprah and Mitt and FDT and of course her majesty, the one and only Ann Coulter, the republican party’s Paris Hilton, inside the lock box.

I will find other things to talk about. I promise.


Real News

A noted American scientist, DNA pioneer and former Nobel Prize winner says blacks are dumber than whites if you believe the testing evidence.

No stranger to controversy, Dr. James Watson who won the Nobel prize back in 1962 for his research into genetic DNA says all you have to do is ask white employers who deal with black employees. Further, Watson, who was addressing a group of British scientists stated that Western social policies are misdirected and misguided because they are based on the assumption that blacks in Africa are as smart as white westerners.

Watson who, for the past 50 years has headed a renown genetic think tank and laboratory in New York is currently embarked on a book tour promoting a book about his racial and pseudo scientific theories. In the book he alleges that the genes that prove his theory will be found within the decade.

Back in 1997 Watson hit the headlines when he stated that women should be allowed to abort any fetus if tests could prove that the child would turn out to be homosexual. He backed off that comment, saying he was just thinking out loud.

Round about that same time he drew links between skin color and sex drive, arguing that blacks have higher libidos. We do like our sex, but then who doesn’t.

He also is alleged to have said “stupidity” will one day be cured.

Given what continues to come out of his mouth....I think not.

I think stupid is genetic...no testing needed....just open your mouth and prove it to the world, and if you happen to be an old dried up white guy attempting to be relevant,then you will at least have a bigger audience of witnesses.

Case closed.


Genius in the Family

The first born child in the family is always the smartest. It’s a proven fact, just look at me. I’m number one in my family and I’m sure that the number ones among my friends will agree with me, that we are the smartest kids our parents had.

Now our siblings may disagree, but then what do they know? They came second, third and a distant fourth in my case. They didn’t know anything until I told them. So case closed. The first kid rocks. The second is pretty cool too. But the babies...well, no one will ever accuse them of having common sense or natural intelligence.

We number ones excelled in school, our professions, our playtime. We were and still are, the leaders of our social circles.

Face it, we’re just plain good as well as smart.

So why do we need studies to document what all of us already know?

I don’t know, but maybe it’s different for boys. A recently completed Norwegian study looked only at boys and came to the same conclusion, that first born boys rule, but not by much. According to the study, IQs among siblings only differed by a couple of points. In other words if the first boy has an IQ of 103, the next boy has an IQ of 101 and on down to the baby.

The only conclusion I can draw from this study is to have only one kid because the more you have the dumber they get, so stop at one and be happy...

Quick Hits Monday..

Yet another ball-less wonder has stepped forward to tell us in retrospect that Bush’s war is a fiasco. General Rick Sanchez, one of the real live commanders of this quagmire has now spoken up from rear and said the surge isn’t working. He joins the ranks of Colin Powell, General Pace and a few others who now show up on cable talk shows powered by lucrative book deals..



Fred Dalton Thompson....c’mon down! Please! The uninformed masses think you’re their savior.
They think you will rescue them from the unchristian Romney, the perverted Guiliani, the big bad black man Obama or god forbid that loose woman, no name needed, who is only one who really wears a dress.

Sorry Fred, but you’re no Ronald Reagan. You’re not even a “B” actor....It was painfully obvious during the last debate that you really, really do need a script to get by. Keep your day job, honey. You’ll feel better.


Condi has surfaced. She’s in Gaza holding news conferences, the topic of which escapes us. But she says her boss is totally focused on peace in the Middle East.


Bush’s other woman is focused on the Buddhist monks in Burma. Well, she is a school teacher, so she can tell her husband where Burma is and why the monks are mad.


Isaiah Thomas: Classless and Clueless

No one who knows of Isaiah Thomas should be surprised by the recent sexual harassment court decision that went against him and the officials of Madison Square Garden in New York. Thomas has been showing his colors for years.

He has no class and it doesn’t surprise me that someone would accuse him of sexual harassment. His ego proceeds him, wherever he goes. For years he’s hidden behind okay basketball talent and a megawatt smile that apparently gets him what he wants.

Jock that I am, I once had Zeke on a basketball pedestal. I liked watching him and the Detroit Pistons play. They were rough and took no prisoners. They dominated until Michael Jordan came along. For the first couple of years it was Pistons’ basketball. The Bulls made it to the playoffs only to be dismissed, because as good as Michael was, he couldn’t beat an entire team by himself.

When the Bulls finally got their act together, they played Piston ball and beat the Pistons at their own game. But Thomas had to have the last word. In the final seconds of the game, Thomas led his teammates off the floor, rather than shake hands with the victorious Bulls. Rather than say “good game” he skulked off to the locker room with that stupid smile on his face.

It was thuggish and ugly, it was a slap in the face to the young Bulls and showed Thomas to be the dirty player he had become, both on and off the court.

The Bulls went on to history, Thomas went on to labor as a mediocre coach, general manager, misguided team owner, forever lost in Michael’s gigantic shadow.

Now, just like back then, he hid behind his smile, his big eyes and his momma....”she taught me better than that......”I’m totally, totally, innocent..”

Yeah, right...look deeper...there are probably more victims, run over by the Isaiah train, who haven’t surfaced yet..


Another Uppity Black Man?! HA!

When pigs fly! That’s what we say in Cincinnati when bullshit floats to the surface...When pigs fly...
Clarence Thomas...Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas calls himself an “uppity black man.” If he is uppity, then I need to change my name to Angela or Harriet or Sojourner. If he’s uppity, I need to buy a gun to protect myself from coming lynch parties that routinely materialize when “uppity blacks” speak their minds.

Uppity? Clarence Thomas wouldn’t know “Uppity” if it bit him in the ass...excuse my disrespect, please. I try to give respect to all human beings, but only if you earn it...and don’t twist your mouth around to say stupid shit like that....The term “uppity” has to be earned...you can’t self proclaim that, fool!

Let me give you some examples of “uppity” black folks.......Muhammed Ali, he refused to be drafted to go to Vietnam and got stripped of his heavyweight title.

Mike Tyson is an uppity black man...does anything and everything he wants, good or bad..he is also very very crazy...

Barack Obama is an uppity black man...he dares to run for the White House.....You want conservative black uppityness...try Alan Keyes...another crazy MF...but definitely uppity..

Justice Thurgood Marshall was an uppity black man...Bill Cosby is uppity...

RuPaul is uppity and very very fashionable!

Hell, even P Diddy or whatever the hell he calls himself these days is uppity...How about Ice T, Ice Cube, Wesley Snipes, and lord don’t let us forget Danny Glover..

Uppity? How about Whoopie Goldberg on the distaff side? How about Angela Bassett..

How about any black person who dares to speak out against the system called America and pays a price....Can you say Eartha Kitt?

Malcolm, Martin, Eldridge....I’m just sticking with the uppity names you know..there are countless others who have gone so far as to have given their lives in anonymity because they were “uppity.”

I’ve read Thomas’ book...I’ve read the books about Thomas...I’ve watched Thomas from jump...all the way from his nomination by Daddy Bush...through Anita Hill...and all his years to date, on the Supreme Court....

Uppity? No!

How about ego driven, under achiever with a huge chip on his shoulder, who is very obviously mad at the world.

As we say in the ghetto...”A brother’s got some issues that need working out..”:

Try love and honesty with self first, Mr. Thomas...then maybe all that uppityness will one day really shine through....