10.30.2011

A Real Life Halloween Scare


With all Hallows approaching, got me to thinking about a real life scare that I had a long time ago...

Both my parents are fright junkies. My Mom filled us full of ghost stories that she said happened in our family, like the night she watched two white terry towel bath robes belonging to her two brothers, suddenly slip off the hooks in the bathroom, crawl across the floor, open the window in the bedroom and slip out, to disappear forever. Uncle Billy and Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Alice always backed up the story as did Granddad. Our Grandmother, whom we called Mother, was also ticked off because she made the robes, she was a seamstress, and I don't think she bought the story. Yet they were never found.

My Dad just liked scaring people, telling us from the time we could listen about this creature named Bloody Bones. “Bloody Bones is gonna git you so you better watch out!” He would say imitating the monster and chasing us around the room, tickling us breathless if he caught us. Dad had a crooked finger from a fire cracker accident, which made his hands a lot creepy when he went into his Bloody Bones act. He also took us to every scary movie that played at the Twin Drive In, in Bond Hill or Norwood, depending on what side of the fence you lived on.

As kids, we were taught and knew not to go into those dark or odd places where things seemed a bit off, so to speak. Usually I listened, but one time I got caught. Years later, Hollywood made the movie The Exorcist. I'd read the book....bought by looking at the cover of the paperback...didn't know anything about the story...just read it...couldn't put it down. But it literally scared the hell out of me. I got to seeing things and smelling smells in my house. My imagination was working overtime for real.

The first thing I wanted to do was to get the book out of the house, which I did. I gave it to my brother in law who was on his way to Vietnam. He read it and tossed it overboard. It's still at the bottom of the Gulf of Tonkin, unless some fish scooped it up thinking it was food. All our conversations turned to that book until he got home. My sisters, both of them, read it too. The Exorcist was the recommended book from the Moore sisters that year.

Anyway, when the movie came out, of course, I had to see it, so my brother in law and my sister and I drove out to Springdale Cinemas. He was back by then. The crowd was huge, but so were the winds. A freak windstorm blew up knocking out electricity for miles around. It was freaky because other than the winds, the weather wasn't bad, sticky, cool but no rain, like the rain would come later. All of us in line were nervously joking about the weather and how maybe Mother Nature didn't want us to see this movie.

It was still early in the evening, so the three of us decided to drive downtown to the Regal Theater in the West End. Chinese Connection was playing and my brother and I were huge Bruce Lee fans. My sister was along for the ride, since she didn't like chop socki movies nor horror films, to this day.

We got downtown and couldn't get into see Bruce, so we decided to head home. My sister had to work the next day so my brother and I decided to meet the next day to see the movie. Trouble is, he thought we were going to see Bruce and I thought we were going to see The Exorcist. The next day, I went to Springdale while he went downtown. I waited and waited for him. Couldn't call because the cell phone addiction hadn't happened yet . We were still on pay phones and carrying quarters, just in case. So I butched up and went inside to watch this movie. whose book had almost literally scared me straight when I read it. The movie was just as bad/good. The theater was packed, but I'm alone again with this stupid story. At one point, I realized I was holding hands with the stranger sitting next to me. In fact we realized it at about the same time. We looked at each other and laughed nervously...but we didn't let go....not til the credits.

Then I went home to find my family... safe again....it was after all...only a movie.

Epilogue: A few years later, I met the Priest who performed the real exorcism and he told me the real story which led to some more sleepless nights. The real story was so much worse..But I'll save that for another day.

Happy Halloween!

10.27.2011

I LOVE THE SMELL OF TEAR GAS IN THE MORNING!


The pigs are back! Not that they ever went away in the first place. Their masters simply put them on a leash following the fall of Saigon, when the Vietnam conflict ended back in the day.

Oh yeah, they killed a few protestors too, around that time. Ya'll remember Kent State, don't cha? Or maybe you folks heard about it from the Jimi Hendrix song “Machine Gun,” or CSN & Y, “Four Dead in O HI O.” Some of you, like me, may have even been gassed while protesting between classes at UC...so you know what I'm talkin' about.

Blacks like me were protesting for our civil rights. Many white kids joined the protests under the guise of solidarity but were in fact acting out against their well off fathers, and the government that was “grinding” them down (can ya'll say SDS?).

Kid protestors died in other places around the US of A back then too, shocking their rich, mothers and fathers back to the reality that it was their own kids being shot at, kicked, beaten, gassed and killed, not foreign little gooks from a faraway land or big and black panther terrorist/criminals bent on destroying America. It's always open season on black and brown people, even today....Except the glitterati who have morphed into the Tea Bag Party, don't talk about it much, and besides, they've allowed black upward mobility to happen so the folks calling the shots these days, look just like the ones they are beating up.

Internal class struggle? Nah. The Committees of 50 are still in business around the country. For those of you new to Cincinnati or born after 1979, The Committee of 50 was/is a group of the richest local business men (one black, with a female spokesperson from Ky) who call the shots in Cincinnati...regardless of who is mayor or police chief or prosecutor or city manager...regardless of their various ethnic persuasions. If the Committee likes it...okay...But if it doesn't...then it becomes “LET THE DOGS OUT!” Regardless of who is actually holding the leash. They quietly employ what I used to call the “Lindner method.” The late Mr. Lindner, rest his soul, used his money to pollinate all sides in Cincinnati ( we have three, GOP, Dem and Charter) thereby guaranteeing that he would win the argument, no matter what it was, because what politician is going to bite the hand that feeds him or her. And as we all know, Mr. Lindner went to his grave revered and relatively bite-free last week.

Enter Occupy Cincinnati, recently de-trenched from Piatt Park( The Bortz said you had to go. Resistance is futile...you're messing up HIS park. Hello, Arn, long time). Did you know that OWSC is two groups in Cincinnati...one white and one black? OWSCW is the group getting all the media attention. OWSCB is, well black and ignored as always. Politics, politics...

I sympathize with OWSWC or B, whatever. The movement speaks to the inner anarchist in me. It speaks to the me who is tired of politicians....all of em. It speaks to the me who truly believes that the only way to clean up DC is to drop a bomb on Capitol Hill and start over with more women reflecting our numbers in the electorate, term limits, and rules that prevent them from opting out of the laws that affect me, thereby killing the mantra “do as I say..not as I do.” State Capitols and city governments are not exempt. I am in favor of a big fat fireman's hose turned on full blast at the doorway into City Hall... like Hercules did to the Aegean Stables....that would go a long way in washing away the stench of corrupt government that permeates America at all levels.

30 years younger and I would be camped down in Pie-ett Park with OWS. But I'm not. I've buzzed by and honestly, I see the same sitcom playing out that happened back in the day when I was less jaded about change. White kids taking a break from classes. Black people invisible. Out of work folks looking to stay relevant. Activists seeking face time. The homeless looking for a meal and way to re connect with a society that obviously doesn't want their participation. Opportunists looking for a way to capitalize on the misery, but staying out of the real line of fire. No sign of pimpin' ministers, yet either.

Missing in action, those who grew up...sympathize with the protestors(so they say)...except they have a J-O-B and a F-A-M-I-L-Y to support, so they watch it unfold on the T-V waiting for the call that the revolution has begun.

Trouble is as long as we wait for somebody else or our kids to start the revolution...it won't happen... It will take the whole city marching to OWSCWB's tune to get the city to lay off and act for the people. Otherwise, committee of 50 rules....still.

The kids in Oakland expressed surprise at the police onslaught a couple of nights ago. They were saying they didn't believe it could happen like that. Guess their parents never talked about the civil rights days or the war days. Guess they never cracked a history book or two or three. The American Spring happened years ago, long before the Arab Springs of this past summer. These young protestors protest like they play video games...can't tell imaginary from reality with none of them understanding the concept that every action draws an equal and opposite reaction. When the going gets rough many of them will retreat to the safety of Dad's home in the burbs. Trouble is...the way it is today...Dad's home won't be there much longer.....unless Daddy has millions to begin with.

So get ready...you ain't seen nothin' yet if the protests continue...you still have no idea what your country is capable of....really...


10.20.2011

Do Buddhists Go to Heaven?


Can Buddhists Rapture Up...Inquiring minds want to know? Or must we wait outside the pearlie gates until it's time for us to emigrate back to earth, or whatever the planet-plane-existence will be called when we get back.

I'm only asking because tomorrow, Friday October 21st, is supposed to be REAL Rapture combined with the REAL end of the world as we know it (can never think of EOTW unless I sing that damn song, then it rumbles through my brain for days and days and days afterward).

Reverend Harold Camping, the man with the plan, says Rapture Day back in May was a practice run for the REAL thing, which is happening tomorrow. Tomorrow we get two birds for one stone...snatched up to heaven in plenty of time to watch the sinners die on earth, along with the earth of course.

Which leads me to another question-if the world ends tomorrow, will there be anything for us Buddhists to come back to, assuming we have not finished our spiritual work and therefore need to come back in the first place? Just Askin'.

Decisions, decisions...

Rev says he is going to wait it out at home, which is understandable since back in June he suffered a stroke after he didn't get pulled up to heaven by Jesus in May (of course that very short evangelical hair style that he wears, may have had something to do with it). Maybe he should have grown dreds like a Rastafarian so Jesus could have gotten a better grip (that's why they grow em, ya know).

The fact that he's still here with the rest of us nearly took him out of here. But he says, he is recovering slowly and it will take a long time to get better...but why should he care, if his prediction is finally correct...he will be trading in his old worn out body for a new one, complete with snazzy new pair of wings, right?

Old Harold is hedging his bets this time, since Jesus surprised him in May by not pulling him up, Camping says salvation and destruction will “probably” happen like he predicts.

Probably!? Oh man, c'mon! You really talking to god? Who is that voice inside your head, for real?

Anyway, I'm packin' my fave duffel bag, laptop and camera just in case...I've been growing my hair lately, so no “grip” issues for the SOG... and if I am raptured I will have my pick of spots in the pearlie gates waiting room by being first in line...otherwise...I'll just go visit my sister in South Carolina... shucks...guess I better pack my golf clubs, too.

Just in case...






10.13.2011

OMG! The Great White Hope...is a Black Man!

Who-da thunk that the current GOP "flavor" is that chocolate covered peril named Herman Cain. He's the front runner for the GOP nomination, if you believe the latest poll numbers today. The way the GOP has spent the past three years vilifying Obama, one would think that another Black man wouldn't stand  a snowball's chance in hell of getting into the White House . Maybe he still doesn't,  since he hasn't won the nomination yet.

Most pundits on TV still say Herb, er Herman is unelectable, despite his front runner status.  Chris Christie endorsed Mitt and the Half Gov can't even get his name right. But there he is, right at the front of the pack....this week anyway.

Maybe it's  a trick to make us think that the teabags have finally  gotten past playing the race card to win elections, which along with voodoo economics remains the only republican political strategy going back to Richard Nixon.

Herman calls himself a "real Black man."  Unlike the president who has some very visible "white" in his family tree. Herman graduated from Morehouse. He even married a Black woman, which we all know is not typical  successful Black man behavior. We don't know if he can hoop, haven't seen those pictures yet.

But white people do like the way he talks tough...direct...to the point....just like the mythical black man that lives inside their collective mind,  like the one they expected Obama  to be. Cain fits the image of other  black men and some women in the GOP...Black men like Uncle Clarence or the man named Steele. College educated Black men with degrees up the wha-zoo but with no discernible functioning neural ganglia between them.  I do use the term "white" to refer to the GOP because other than a "black walnut" or two, there are no swirls in their  preferred blend of Haagan Daaz, and that is by design going back years and years and years. Google "Sailor Strategy" if you want to read more.

Cain says all the things that many teabaggers wish they could say out loud. He can be the racist in their dream conversations without worrying about being called a racist by the media. After all, Cain is black like us, and as we all know, it's okay for a black to call another black a nigga. Whites can think it, but they better not say it, right?

H-I-T-M....WTF!?....stands for "Herman's Intelligent Thinkers Movement. Bet he made that up all by himself.

Not catchy enough...probably even scares off white people, especially the educationally challenged ones in the bunch. Why not BWC...Black Walnuts for Cain....makes you think of flashy cars or chicken wings, two things guaranteed to attract black people, right?

Did you know that Herman's biggest claim to fame was single-handedly defeating "Hillarycare" during the Clinton Administration? Not something that will endear him to Liberals and Progressives of any persuasion. He's trying to keep that quiet...likes "pizza man" nickname better, I would guess.

Message to Herman....to paraphrase the AGP's (American Ghetto Princesses) ,"if you ain't talking J-O-Bs, you need to git outta my face!"

As for the 999 plan....This ITBL (intelligent, thinking black lesbian) says it's bogus and built on the backs of poor people, just like everything else coming out of the teabag movement.


Black man or not, close your eyes and  Herman is  still soundin' like a slave overseer rather than a slave.

What Cain doesn't get is that even the Overseers were slaves, despite their "special" status.