Well,
here we are, one month after the re election of America's first Black
President, and it's time for the world to end, again. It's due to
end on December 21, 2012. That's 20 days from today and the reasons
for it vary.
If
you recently bought a Mayan Calendar, then your calendar ends in 20
days, at about noon, and since time ends when the Mayans Calendar
ends, so does the earth according to doomsayers. We can't really ask
any Mayans for verification of their arithmetic, because all the
Mayans, themselves, have died or were killed off a long time ago by
marauding Conquistadors who infected them with white man's disease
when they didn't kill them outright. Historians say it's not gonna
happen. The EOWAWKI (end of the world as we know it) folks have
cyphered wrong, and basically all they are doing with their
predictions is driving kids crazy or to suicide.
If
you believe in aliens and follow NASA and all space happenings, then
look to the sky because some rogue planet named Nibiru is heading
toward earth on collision course. Doesn't matter that nobody can see
it. Hell, nobody has ever seen it in the sky. NASA says no such
planet or moon has ever existed. But it's there, say all the
astro-nuts waiting for it.
Many
of these astro-nuts are congregating in a small town in French Alps
to wait for the Earth to Nibiru head-on collision. Seems there is a
portal there to take anyone who wants to survive the collision to
another planet or dimension.The portal, or dimensional doorway is in
somebody's garage.
It's
gotten so bad that the town mayor has issued a “do not come”
order to those thinking of coming. He is shutting down the border
right about now. So people will have to choose another vantage point
or find another garage from which to “beam up.”
Run
of the mill Christians are still waiting to be Raptured ala
Revelation. You can read about it in the bible written by good King
James of England. But don't ask Rev Harold Camping out in
California. He's missed his due date twice, and his followers are all
pissed off at him since they sold or gave away all their earthly
possessions and are still here and have to face the bill collectors.
So now he refuses to tell us heathens just when the world will end.
Of
course you can always pray for continued good health for Pope
Benedict. Once upon a time, long ago, in 1590, Irish Saint Malachy
said there would be 112 popes to reign over the Holy See in Rome and
then the world would end. Pope Bennie is pope number 111. The last
pope would be Peter the Roman who will nourish the sheeple through
many trials and tribulation and when he dies, the city of seven hills
will be destroyed and the judge of judges will exact punishment on
his people. The End.
Many
people think this last prediction was actually Nostradamus playing
tricks on the Catholic Church...that St Malachy was in fact
Nostradamus in drag. Who knows.
Maybe
those of us who live in cities built on seven hills, like Cincinnati,
Ohio, should move to other locations just to be safe.
Personally,
I'm not doing any Christmas shopping until December 22nd.
No sense in wasting the money, if nobody is gonna be here to rock
around the Christmas tree on Christmas.
The
End of the World cancels Kwanzaa, too. But considering that most of
this end times crap is a response to America's first Black President,
maybe killing Kwanzaa was the real goal in the first place.
HA!
We done figured it out now. Ya'll don't want the world to
end....ya'll just want to kill Kwanzaa...
Another
conspiracy theory laid bare.
