12.05.2012

Beam Me Up Scotty, No Need to Christmas Shop


Well, here we are, one month after the re election of America's first Black President, and it's time for the world to end, again. It's due to end on December 21, 2012. That's 20 days from today and the reasons for it vary.

If you recently bought a Mayan Calendar, then your calendar ends in 20 days, at about noon, and since time ends when the Mayans Calendar ends, so does the earth according to doomsayers. We can't really ask any Mayans for verification of their arithmetic, because all the Mayans, themselves, have died or were killed off a long time ago by marauding Conquistadors who infected them with white man's disease when they didn't kill them outright. Historians say it's not gonna happen. The EOWAWKI (end of the world as we know it) folks have cyphered wrong, and basically all they are doing with their predictions is driving kids crazy or to suicide.

If you believe in aliens and follow NASA and all space happenings, then look to the sky because some rogue planet named Nibiru is heading toward earth on collision course. Doesn't matter that nobody can see it. Hell, nobody has ever seen it in the sky. NASA says no such planet or moon has ever existed. But it's there, say all the astro-nuts waiting for it.

Many of these astro-nuts are congregating in a small town in French Alps to wait for the Earth to Nibiru head-on collision. Seems there is a portal there to take anyone who wants to survive the collision to another planet or dimension.The portal, or dimensional doorway is in somebody's garage.

It's gotten so bad that the town mayor has issued a “do not come” order to those thinking of coming. He is shutting down the border right about now. So people will have to choose another vantage point or find another garage from which to “beam up.”

Run of the mill Christians are still waiting to be Raptured ala Revelation. You can read about it in the bible written by good King James of England. But don't ask Rev Harold Camping out in California. He's missed his due date twice, and his followers are all pissed off at him since they sold or gave away all their earthly possessions and are still here and have to face the bill collectors. So now he refuses to tell us heathens just when the world will end.

Of course you can always pray for continued good health for Pope Benedict. Once upon a time, long ago, in 1590, Irish Saint Malachy said there would be 112 popes to reign over the Holy See in Rome and then the world would end. Pope Bennie is pope number 111. The last pope would be Peter the Roman who will nourish the sheeple through many trials and tribulation and when he dies, the city of seven hills will be destroyed and the judge of judges will exact punishment on his people. The End.

Many people think this last prediction was actually Nostradamus playing tricks on the Catholic Church...that St Malachy was in fact Nostradamus in drag. Who knows.

Maybe those of us who live in cities built on seven hills, like Cincinnati, Ohio, should move to other locations just to be safe.

Personally, I'm not doing any Christmas shopping until December 22nd. No sense in wasting the money, if nobody is gonna be here to rock around the Christmas tree on Christmas.

The End of the World cancels Kwanzaa, too. But considering that most of this end times crap is a response to America's first Black President, maybe killing Kwanzaa was the real goal in the first place.

HA! We done figured it out now. Ya'll don't want the world to end....ya'll just want to kill Kwanzaa...

Another conspiracy theory laid bare.










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