7.25.2006

Gum Law: A Sticky Situation

The middle east is in chaos...

Iraq has devolved into civil war...

North Korea, Iran, China and India have the bomb...

America is like an airplane loaded with missiles with Howdy Doody at the controls...

And Europe and Great Britain are worried about Gum Control.

You heard me, I said GUM CONTROL.

According to a report in today’s USA TODAY, cleaning up gum off the sidewalks is costing European taxpayers MILLIONS of dollars a year in clean up expenses.

Ireland has gone so far as to levy a $160 fine for anyone caught abandoning their chewed up little wads on the sidewalk in Dublin. It’s all the work of the Gum Litter Taskforce, who have even erected billboards praising people who toss their gum responsibly.

And, of course there is an American in the woodpile. Chicago-based Wrigley, maker of Juicy Fruit, Doublemint and a host of other brands has been lobbying against a special 6-cent tax that some countries want to impose upon the beleaguered gum chewers.

There are even pro-gum groups like the International Chewing Gum Association which has its headquarters in Belgium.

A spokesman for KEEP BRITAIN TIDY, an anti litter group claims gum removal costs $15 million because it’s a labor and time intensive process.
It apparently is also a problem in the subways, too and you can blame the terrorists for this one. British subways no longer have trash cans, which are often used by terrorists to hide bombs, so consequently, no place to toss the wad. Brits just stick it under the seat or hang it on handy billboard.

Don’t ask me for a solution. This all seems like much ado about nothing. Common sense should prevail in these cases but doesn’t.

Besides I don’t chew gum. Might make my dentures fall out.
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