6.05.2006

Bugs in My Gut...EW!

Three pounds of bugs in my intestine? 100 trillion tiny creepy crawly microbes living everyday inside my gut? Damn, I didn't need to know that. That is W.T.M.I....way too much information. And don't laugh, baby you got em too. We all do.

Humans have bugs. Bugs that live inside us and help keep us healthy if you believe the latest report in last week's journal Science. These microbial tenants live in our intestines, our colon, our nose, mouth, ears, on our skin and in our vaginas, if you have one.

In fact, according to the report, we shouldn't even think of ourselves as a single living organism. We should think of ourselves as a hybrid consisting of 10% human cells and 90% bacteria. Yuck!

The only reason, apparently, that we see each other as human is because the human cells are bigger than the bugs living in us and on us and that the entire 100 trillion bugs only equals three pounds of body weight. That's three pounds I'd love to lose.

The scientists who are conducting this on-going study tell us to be happy we have bugs cause otherwise we would die. We can't live without our bugs. So who's the host and who's the symbion? My internal movie theater is showing pictures of great white sharks swimming around with all those lampreys attached them sucking up shark cast off. Is that what's going on in my body?

By studying DNA, scientists have been able to determine some of the bugs or bacteria, if you will, make essential vitamins for us that humans cells are genetically incapable of manufacturing. Others make enzymes that break down certain stuff we need to function. Some of the bugs neutralize illness causing flavonoids, including some that cause cancer.

But some of em, according to the report, eat the digestive bi-product hydrogen gas and turn it into methane. They make us fart, people. They keep us from being over bloated. Farting contributes to the accumulation of the Earth's greenhouse gases which is not a good thing either.

So it's a toss up folks, what do you want to do....fart and kill the Earth slowly, or kill the bugs in your system and die quickly.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Think I'll just go back to bed and check back into my last nightmare.
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