4.12.2010

On Great White Hopes and the American Way

You knew it was coming, as soon as Phil Mickleson sank his putt on 18 and wrapped up his third green jacket, that the sports writers had found their Great White Hope.

Tiger Woods, the 21st century Jack Johnson, who dominates the white man's sport, screws his women by double digit numbers, sometimes on the same day, even marries one and figuratively spits on her in the eyes of the world, got his comeuppance this weekend.

He lost...finished fourth....in the Masters.

As soon as Mickleson won, from the mouth of sportscaster Jim Nantz, it became a win for the ages..."that's a win for the family." Nantz said.

Mickleson's wife and mother are both battling cancer....his very blond wife pulled herself out of bed to watch her man win....and he gratefully dissolved into tears, crying into her shoulders.

While Jack, er Tiger's wife Elin...well, she was off in Sweden with the kids and her family...still hiding and suffering from the embarrassment and trauma that her man put her through.

American family values, on display for the world to see. All is now right with the golfing world. Ah, yes, the American way.

Let me say, I don't like Tiger Woods...never did....don't know him, never wanted to meet him...he always seemed very immature, not likeable and very arrogant....not the kind of negativity that I welcome into my world....However.... While I absolutely love his command of the game.... personally, I can leave him on the course when he's done. And I don't feel sorry for him now.

Over the years, as I watched and I saw, or surmised that most of the other golfers on the course with him, felt the same way. Maybe it was the insider knowledge that they had about him. They never seemed to like him...envy him...yes......marvel at him...yes...but like him...don't think so...

You can't make me believe that the other golfers didn't know that Tiger was dropping his pole in every lake he drove by. They were all too quiet during the scandal. Sports among men is all about who's got the best game and the biggest dick. Tiger won on the links and off, apparently.

They knew. They also know without Tiger, they don't make any money, and that is the only real game being played. It didn't help matters that all those women would talk about was how long and how good Tiger hung in, in the sack or on the floor, or in the kitchen or in the front seat of his car in the parking lot.

That just pissed off the masters of the universe even more.

When it comes to big dick heaven most of the guys in the PGA fall woefully short. Their game wasn't even considered a sport until Tiger stepped in and elevated it to NBA levels.

Think about it...how many centuries has golf been played and when did it become a real sport? Is golf more fun in color, with players of brown, black or yellow...or it is more fun in white on white as it was conceived and still dreamed of by the masters of the universe...

Tiger's return, just like his entire life, is all about money, period. So they are very glad he's back. They do need him. But watching him be humbled was the real name of the game this weekend. Tiger had to be made to pay for his surly behavior toward his masters.

Tiger could not apologize enough...this weekend.....could not smile enough or wave enough at the crowds...could not please, the masters of Augusta or the wannabes who write about golf or talk from the announce booth, pontificating over every missed drive or errant putt.

The Billy Paynes of the golfing world were intent on whipping the uppity little black boy, chastising him for his visible disdain for the hallowed halls of Augusta National, with its tradition and foundation forged in the cesspool of racism and misogyny.

Tiger tried....he did penance...he controlled himself to a point....and he lost...playing the game their way...to bolster their egos and to make them feel better and back in control. However, even lowering himself to their level...he played better than 90% of the also rans...the only drama on Sunday was whether or not Mickleson, the designated American great white hope was going to choke, again.

Next time, Tiger surfaces, I hope he plays his game....the cussing arrogant, aloof mufuca who cannot be bowed...he showed glimpses of the old Tiger this weekend.

Honestly...I want that one back on the links. I don't want him channeling his Dad. I want him to channel Jack Johnson. Jack fought every fight in life and the ring, his way.

Tiger should do the same.

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