5.31.2011

Ode to the Anonymous Commenter


A is for anal retentive walking waste of oxygen
N is for neanderthal incapable of any rational thought or reasoning
O is for opportunistic coward ready to spew hatred at the touch of a key
N is for the nothings that result from the massive amounts of brain power expended
Y is for the yawn produced after attempting to read but a few words of said drivel
M is the monumental chuckle generated if only you can maneuver through the misspellings, bad syntax and alien grammar
O is for orgasm, a real world ejaculation generated by meaningless cybersexualized bullying of strangers
U is for usual, as in "usual stuff " expected from someone with no functioning neural ganglia
S is for sanctimonious belief, that AC opinions actually matter in the real world outside said cave dweller's hole in the ground

C is for the control that you don't have over anyone, including yourself
O is for ordinary, nothing special, nada, zilch...not worth 15 seconds, let alone 15 minutes
M is for mentally challenged or retarded, as in dumb-ass, stupid, etc, except that would be stooping to AC level by resorting to unimaginative name calling
M is for midget as in mental midget able to generate third grade logic at the flick of an internal switch
E is for evil, no you ain't going to heaven, son
N is for nevermind, please don't make my day
T is for talentless, pretending to be a wordsmith is way above your burger flipping pay grade, do mc-fries come with that?
E is for empty, time to get a life
R is for racist and bigoted, last refuge of the anachronistic individual lacking in imagination and creativity

To sum up Anonymous Comments in one word-BORING!

Please, please, to reiterate, don't come into my space and expect me to get all hot and bothered over your immature and hyperbolic rantings. I've heard it said much better and with greater clarity at other points in my life. Your inbred fourth generation dumb down version just doesn't push the same buttons, other than to make me yearn for the days when real conservatives and bigots with balls, in other words, those unafraid to sign their names and stand behind their comments, drove the conversation, instead of all you stunted growth eunuchs who flunked social civility in high school and ended up being home schooled by the obsessively adoring  high school dropout beast- of a mother who bore you.

You...your idea of creativity is stating the obvious...IE..."you wear glasses...I'ma call you four eyes! hehehehehe!"

 I would leave you with a quote from Oscar Wilde, but you probably wouldn't understand or get what I'm telling you, even if you wrapped all of your miniscule brain around it and knew who Wilde was in the first place. So I will leave you with words you can relate to:

 you need to  crawl back down into that lichen infested basement under yo jello assed meth usin', pond scum suckin' momma's house and let grown folks continue the conversation.

Y'all don't come back now, ya hear?



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