8.12.2009

Coming to America, Pantyhose for Men

(Originally posted 1/10/09)

Hypothetical situation- You’re in a club, the music is banging, you got your drink on, standing there at the bar surveying the room with your BFF, when in walks god. This guy is the be all, end all of your dreams and you just have to have him, before the night is out.

You make eye contact and he must like what he sees because soon you two are on the dance floor, all night, til the club closes. You know from the way his hands have been exploring your body, that this one is coming home.

You make out in the car, you’re kissy face in the hallway, you nearly break down the door rather then unlock it. Clothes are landing everywhere, yours on the floors, his on the chair. You step back for a moment, turn around to admire him in all his almost naked splendor, and he’s standing there in pantyhose. The correct name is “mantyhose,” but now is the not the time for semantics.

What do you do?

Seeing a man in pantyhose has been no big deal since Joe Willy Nameth put them on back in the late 60's. There was even a half hearted effort to get guys to wear them under their football uniforms for warmth back in the day. But nobody took it seriously. Pantyhose have always been for women, comedians, drag queens and transvestites, until now.

According to a report in the New York Daily News, men have been wearing mantyhose for years in Europe, and now the hose are becoming a fashion statement for men in America, as well

There is even a website that exclusively sells mantyhose. Luxelegwear.com sells 13 different kinds of hose. Men who might be feeling conflicted about wearing the hose can go to e-MANcipate.net and read up on how to accept yourself and other men who want to wear them. This site also instructs how to wear them..over or under your boxers.

I guess you can ask your girlfriend, your mom or your sister, or best lesbian girlfriend about them. I don’t know any woman who really likes pantyhose. They itch, they snag too easily. Nothing worse than a runner in a brand new pair of hose. They are just a pain in the ass. Everyday that I don’t have to put them on, is a blessing.

But guys, you go ahead. Knock yourself out. Wear them for awhile. See if you like it. You might like it. But I doubt it.

Knee highs or a garter belt and hose are better, more comfortable. Try those. You might like it But you just might want to give your date a heads up before you drop your pants.

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