Well
Pope Bennie has taken his last spin around St. Peters in the Pope
mobile. His resignation is official at 8pm Thursday night, clearing
the way for that one ring circus, the college of cardinals. The
meeting, usually held after a pontiff dies, will take place for the
first time with the big guy still alive for the first time in 600
years, tucked away inside a monastic retreat on Vatican grounds,
some say to prevent prosecution for any one of a number of scandals
rocking the papacy.
You
can read his resignation announcement here.
Bennie
will get to keep his pope name instead of revert back to Joseph,
which is his real name, and he can still wear virgin white vestments.
However he's gotta give up those sparkly red Prada loafers. (Wonder
if he will sell them on Ebay and donate the money to feed the
hungry...nah) Think he probably has to give back the pope ring, too.
And
now that good old Ben has been tucked out of sight, the drama swept
under the rug, temporarily at least, now comes time for the other men
who favor dresses, big high hats and pretty shoes to take over the
spotlight and select their new spiritual leader via the smoke, but no
mirror method.
By
the way, was Ru Paul invited to this shindig? Nevermind, I digress.
Word
is that chocolate is the flavor of the month according to all the
English bookies. Seems an African cardinal, Peter Terkson is one of
the favorites. Cardinal Peter is one of the many religious leaders
who has signed off on all the “kill the gays” legislation
circulating on the Continent (ya'll do know Africa is a Continent-not
a country, right?)
Cardinal
Peter has gone so far as to say recently all the child abuse in the
church...ALL of that scandal is the work of devious gays trying to
take down the church.
And
although the mainstream media keeps billing him as maybe the first
black pope, history tells us there have been at least two others,
which would make 3 total, if it happens. Just look what Barack has
started. Next thing you know, they will be talking about the
possibility of a female pope. But that can't happen until the Holy
See starts “seeing” women as human beings worthy of the
priesthood.
With
Cardinal Peter of Africa and Cardinal Timmy of New York as the
favorites who don't live in Italy, women as priests let alone as pope
probable, ain't gonna happen anytime soon. At the rate Bennie was
going before he pulled-a-palin, all the nuns in America were close
to being kicked out of the church anyway for bucking his papal
authority. That would make the church, the old boys club that they
all want anyway. They can't even admit that Mary Magdalene might
have been Jesus' friend and disciple rather than the local hooker
with a heart of gold.
Oh
well. Bennie changed the rules so the college of cardinals don't have
to wait 15 days to elect a new leader, so let the games begin.
Going
to pop some popcorn and kick back in front of the telly to wait for
the white smoke (what? You didn't think the signal was going to be black, did you?), which will signal the selection of the Last Pope
according to the prophecy of St. Malachi. Read here
I
don't believe in the prophecy, unless he selects Peter as his pope
name.
If that happens, I'm going to start partying like it's 1999,
because it really will be the end of the world and not as we know it.
