4.27.2011

Forget the Mayan Calendar-The World Ends This Year

Okay, the picture is becoming clearer. The end of the world is not gonna happen on May 21st. It's gonna happen on October 21, 2011, later this year. So that gives you five more months to get yourself ready.

What is gonna happen on May 21st is The Rapture according to those in the know. The Rapture aka Judgment Day is when god reaches down and snatches the chosen folk up by their hair and takes them into heaven or into the clouds and out of harm's way in order to keep them from getting swallowed up when the world ends. Based on current hair trends, I would say Rastfarians have the edge, here.

So, if you think you're one of the chosen ones, then you might want to consider forgoing that Christian-Mormon-evangelical buzz cut and grow dreds, so god can get a good grip on your head when he starts snatching folks up to heaven.

It is also safe to say that if you don't get snatched up on May 21st, then you're not one of the chosen ones and are probably going to hell with the rest of us.

These dates have been carved in stone by one Harold Camping, an evangelical radio broadcaster, who claims he has figured out the celestial biblical calendar that governs all our lives and is spelled out in the Book of Genesis in the bible. Back in 1994 Camping said Jesus would come back and the rapture would happen, and the world would end, but he didn't and it didn't. Camping said at the time, on May 22nd, I would guess, that he made a mistake in his mathematical end of the world calculations.

He remains undeterred in his predictions, however. This time around he's put up billboards and has many of his followers driving RV's around the country proclaiming coming events.

What makes Camping think that judgment day is upon us this time around? Well, according to his biblical math, the year 2011 is exactly 7000 years after god flooded the world saving only Noah, his wife and three sons and their families as well as two animals from every species on earth. 2011 marks the end of the time that god has apparently given to man to get himself right with the lord, so to speak.

May 21st also corresponds, according to Camping to the day that god shut the door on Noah's ark, forcing everybody on the outside of the big boat to swim or tread water for 40 days and 40 nights. What is taking place on May 21st is a  symbolical door shutting on those who have not been chosen to ascend during The Rapture.

So, what's gonna happen between May 22nd and October 21st for those of us not chosen? Well, it ain't gonna be pretty. Those five months are going to be pure hell, so to speak. You can read about it in Revelation in more detail. But expect locusts with the power of scorpions to hunt down and kill the billions of people without god's seal of approval on their heads, which is everybody left over following The Rapture, according to Camping.

The dead are going to rise up (think Sean of the Dead), earthquakes will happen all over the world (think Japan), and those who died before May 21st and were saved will be resurrected and taken up with the raptured ones (think Easter Sunday). Those who died without being saved will stay dead and scattered all over.

Then, according to Camping's reading of the biblical calendar the final act on earth will be the great feast (Tabernacles) and when the feast is over, there will be a great fire that consumes the earth. The end.

Camping says our collective goose is cooked unless we get right in the next couple of weeks. However there is a slim possibility that you can save yourself like the good people of Nineveh saved by Jonah. God told the city he was going to destroy it, so the king and all his people shucked off their good clothes and started dressing in sack cloth and poured ashes on the floor from their fires and sat on the ashes and fasted and god had a change of heart and didn't destroy the city, that time.

Camping also says god never destroys the world until after he warns the people, so consider yourself warned.
Judgment Day is May 21, 2011

The world ends on October 21, 2011

Forget the Mayan Calendar...the world will be gone by the time the Mayan Calendar ends on December 21, 2012.


  











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