12.06.2009

Tiger Woo, Tiger Woo

I never intended to write about Tiger Woods. I have been laughing from day one about this whole situation, especially when word surfaced that he ran out the door, driving away shoeless, as well as police seeking a search warrant for a golf cart along with the clubs, that his wife allegedly used.

I have this picture in my head of a metal breast plated Viking woman, blonde hair flowing in the wind, club held high, driving this golf cart, angrily chasing down her barefoot, Escalade humping husband as he tried to maneuver down the driveway, singing Wagner's Battle Cry of the Valkyries.

Every day this past week has unveiled a new blonde hottie claiming to have had an affair with the great Tiger Woods. This newest one gets me, though. Just like the others she is a cocktail waitress, who is pursued by the golfer, meets him in the parking lot where he either jumps her bones there or takes her back to his house, and who by her own admission, only cares about the “lust,” doesn't practice safe sex and treats her coldly. Yet she says they had an affair. Another one expressed surprise that she wasn't the only one he had, besides his wife, course. Number 2, I think said she was ticked off and came forward because Tiger cheated on her with the first ho....why couldn't he take “ her” to Australia, huh?

Also this morning, white people have glommed onto the fact that Black people don't like the fact that Tiger is color struck...meaning he only dates, screws or marries white women. They are calling us racist and practitioners of a racial double standard.

Well, yeah....

Tiger's womanizing reinforces the second class position that Black women have been in since free Black people came to America...And for those of you historically challenged individuals...free Blacks came here before the slaves were brought here..

For the entire history of Black people in America, the white woman has been held up as the holy grail of what everyone, whites, blacks, Native Americans, Chinese, Samoans, whoever, must have, on their arm, in their bed, or on the side, in order to live the ultimate definition of success in America. That doesn't leave much room for the rest of us women of color. I mean who plays for second place in life? Everyone wants a rich spouse and success and fame and all that other peripheral happy horseshit

White men have always screwed and now are openly dating, marrying and fathering little mixed up babies with Black women, Asian women, any woman they choose....However, when they go into politics, become CEO, or land at the top of the entertainment/sports ladder.. you can bet the woman who is allowed to share that success is usually always blonde, real or bottled...don't make no difference. The two exceptions that I know...Michelle Obama and Janet Langhart. All men are color struck when you think about it. It's not about the women...it's about money, image and perceived success.

White women are always considered a step up in this country, while white men who marry Black or minority are assumed to be getting better sex, but are fucking and marrying beneath their station in life. White women are held up as the beauty standard and many Black women spend their whole paycheck subconsciously emulating some form of that so called beauty standard, failing to see that white women changed the game a while back and started ripping off Black and brown women for their beauty tips.

Remember when Bo Derek wore cornrows in the movies? That's when it got serious.. They used to be covert about it. But now, they plump their lips, get breast implants, shoot silicone in their butts to make them bigger and rounder, like minority butts. Some of them even try to talk and act ghetto....nothing funnier than a white girl doing a neck roll. They are so afraid of the sun and skin cancer that now there is a whole market of bronzers to make them look brown, or some silly form of orange.

While the brown countries around the world are trying to simultaneously turn themselves white skinned in order to get that white man defined good looking man, or woman and money and fame, since the white man's definition of success still is the name of the game, around the world.

The very confused Cablinasian is fucking white girls, but he married the whitest of the white that he could find, a Swede..and a rich one at that. And he is even willing to fork out 80 million dollars to keep his fantasy of supremacy over white guys in tact. After all, he has conquered their sport, is responsible for them getting paid, too...taken all the money...and taken their women...Numero Uno...King of the World, Ma!

Because the game is not really about women. Women are the pawns in the game of success and money. They are the arm candy, the bauble, the sign of success. The bank account is the real prize. Besting white guys at their own game is the platinum ring.

Beat the Masters of the Universe and you become a god.....roundly celebrated... worshipped....but universally despised behind doors...

Tiger's Dad figured that out and taught his kid to live the fantasy...

And based on what his fuck-buddies say, he screws like he plays golf, cold and calculating with amazing course management, apparently upping the anti through unsafe sex.

I'd even bet my mediocre paycheck that nearly all of his fuck rounds come in under par, too.

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