Presidential Fiddle Faddle

Hillary, Obama, enough with the JFK comparisons. Neither one of you can fill those shoes, before he became president, and certainly not after. Let’s stick to some issues. Any issues besides Iraq. You’re both Senators, let’s do something in Congress for a while. We’ve got time before 2008.

Obama, how about a platform of ideas to spark my interest. So far, the only thing you’re offering is a beautiful smile, and a lot of charisma. Makes me want to marry you, but not necessarily to vote for you.

Hillary, you are proving to be exactly what you are, a professional politician who happens to wear a dress. Please, give me a reason to support you besides your gender, it ain’t enough.

Fred Thompson, please don’t throw your hat into the ring. Your flip flops between acting and politics makes you seem very untrustworthy. If you’re bored go ask David Wolf to write another Law and Order series where you get most of the face time instead of just two minutes of phony prosecutorial pontification from your office.

Bill Richardson, how about the rest of us? There aren’t enough legal Hispanics in this country to put you into the White House without some input from the rest of us.

Dennis Kucinich, I take you seriously, but you don’t have a snow ball’s chance of winning. You’re still the short guy from Cleveland not the John Wayne types we Americans usually get bamboozled into voting for. Besides, you actually have a brain. But vegetarianism is not a selling point in this carnivorous country.

Rudolf Giuliani, your leadership during 9/11 was good. But then showing up Dubya is easy. Cheating on your wife and then marrying your mistress is not a career move. Neither is wearing a dress, unless you’re Hillary. You show a decided lack of follow through...from us attorney to mayor to now wannabe president? Your game may play in New York. It’s not working too well here in the Midwest.

Newt, who the hell wants a President named after a lizard, especially when he acts like one. Slimy. Your mea culpa about what you did to your wife, while persecuting Bill Clinton, isn’t good either. Do you really think the people will trade one hypocrite for another? They might, but it won’t be you.

Mitt Romney. I honestly have a problem with guys who follow religions that listed black people as subhuman as late as 1978. Your flip flops on LGBT issues and pro choice issues means you don’t have even a snow ball’s chance with me.

John McCain. I used to like what you said, way back in 2000, but you’ve got that flip flopitis going on too. Pandering to the right in order to get elected leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
If you do, by some chance get the nomination, selecting Joe Lieberman to be your running mate won’t work either.

And as for all the other guys whose names that I’ve forgotten, well that says it all doesn’t it. Keep your day jobs.