2.23.2011

Supreme Court Baby Mama Drama

Most of what comes out of the United States Supreme court is as dry and boring as the sands of the Kalahari Desert during a drought. Historically, any drama is usually generated by the justices themselves, such as whether or not Uncle Clarence will break his five year silence and speak from the bench or go home and bitch slap his silly wife, who is this close to getting him impeached.

Normal baby mama drama is left for the lower courts to decide, until now, anyway. Add in the Tea Party, weapons of mass destruction and Phyllis Schlafly and you have a cat fight, the likes of which will cause the boys in Jerry Springer's audience to jump up out of their seats in appreciation.

The story begins on an ordinary note with a cheating husband, a spurned wife and a pregnant mistress. Everybody knows everybody else. In fact the two women are BFFs. Wife and husband tried for years to get pregnant but to no avail. However, while hubby shot only blanks with his wife, he connected on the first, second or maybe third shot with best friend.

Wife, Carol was happy for her friend, that is until she found out who the baby daddy was. Then she was pissed. I mean real pissed. Girlfriend started having panic attacks and losing her hair. But she didn't take it out on Clifford, her husband. She went after Myrlinda, her former BFF.

Carol started calling at all hours of the day and night, leaving nasty messages and threatening to send dead people to Myrlinda's house. It got so ugly that Myrlinda called police and finally Carol was brought up on minor harassment charges and convicted. But it didn't end there.

Carol, who is a microbiologist by profession went on the internet and ordered some kill-you-when-you-touch-it poisons and spread the deadly stuff all over Myrlinda's house, mailbox, car, phone and anything else where she might make contact and die. Only problem was, in her rage Carol didn't think things through enough because she apparently ordered the poisons in powder form and Myrlinda could see the stuff. She tested it with her finger and did burn her finger tip, but it wasn't serious.

Myrlinda called the local cops again and again. They looked at it, said it looked like cocaine to them and that she should have her placed checked out. Then the cops went back to fighting DWB cases and profiling alleged illegal immigrants, leaving Myrlinda to deal with her own dusty house.

The very enraged wife then attempted to poison her rival no less than 24 more times with the same deadly stuff.

Myrlinda didn't know what to do so she told her mailman. Her mailman told his boss. His boss told the postal inspectors and they set up a video sting and caught Carol dumping her potent demon dust all over Myrlinda's property. That led to federal charges. Yes, they called in the feds.

The feds threw the kitchen sink at Carol charging her with terrorism designed to battle terrorists who try to use WMDs against America.  In other words they used the "Convention on the Prohibition of the Development, Production, Stockpiling and Use of Chemical Weapons and on Their Destruction." This is a treaty between countries to combat the use of WMDs.

Carol and her lawyers immediately said this was not a viable charge and stated the feds had no puppy in this dog race, citing the 10th amendment to the United States Constitution. The 10th amendment is the one that states where federal government power ends and states rights begins. It's a favorite of the teabaggers and conservatives who are attempting to use it against anything Obama, specifically the health care reform law.

Carol was convicted anyway and sent to Club Fed for six years, faces five years of probation and a $2,000 fine when she gets out.

Carol immediately filed suit against the United States Government. An appeals court threw out the suit claiming Carol didn't have standing to bring the suit since the 10th amendment is between federal and state governments, not individuals. Carol is an individual. Carol appealed the ruling.  Tea Party conservatives, Phyllis Schlafly and Eagle Forum, libertarian think tank Cato Institute, NRA activists and the attorneys general of South Carolina, Alabama, Florida, Texas, Utah and Colorado have also jumped into the pool on Carol's side.

They don't give a damn about Carol and her baby mama drama, but they do want in on anything that may possibly stick it to the Black man in the White House.

This case is now in Uncle Clarence's lap. The high court is being asked to allow the suit against the USA to go forward and watchers say the justices seem inclined to let that happen. But only their ruling will say for sure what they are thinking. If Carol wins a favorable ruling it will open the door to declaring the recently passed health care law null and void. Which will make the conservative right very happy.

It may also invalidate parts of the United States Constitution.

At this writing...Carol is locked up in Club Fed....Myrlinda is alive and in hiding, one would guess....and Clifford...well he is still married to Carol....girlfriend is standing by her man.

Baby mama drama!






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