I can’t believe I’m saying this...Ann Coulter got it right. For once we agree on something. Talking about Don Imus, she said, and I’m paraphrasing, that Imus should apologize to the Rutgers team, but that he doesn’t owe anyone else an apology for his words.
Coulter said that Imus’ slur was directed at innocents, and she was right. There was absolutely no reason to take a potshot at those women. He ruined a good memory for them. Their moment in time is now eternally linked to his stupidity.
Coulter said Imus could have rightfully called her a “blonde ho” and gotten away with it. After all, she said, she is a public figure in the public eye, in the middle of public discourse. Not so, with the women of Rutgers. They didn’t ask for this kind of spotlight. Again, I agree with her.
I’ve been listening to most of the talk on all sides of the Imus controversy. I had even decided not to write about it...just let it go...until Coulter put her two cents on the table, because, in my own opinion, white people in general, and some blacks don’t get it, when it comes to us “dissing” us. It’s like using the “N” word. White people always, always, take it out of the context of culture and community.
It harkens back to playing the dozens, a game that from the outside looking in, seems as if we are simply hurling insults at one another. Actually there are rules to the game and the main rule is, you don’t talk about someone’s momma or sister or grandmother unless you really, really know the person with whom you’re playing.
Crackin’ on somebody’s mother, grandmother, or sister, can get you killed. You never, ever refer to a female relative, as a “ho” or a “bitch.” You never, ever disrespect a sister who is making something of herself, by going to school/college, or has a good job, or is just a good church going sister.
And that’s what white people don’t understand. White people look at us and see us through the stereotypical prism of slavery and racism, whether they consider themselves prejudiced or not. White people seem to think that black men are talking about all black women in the hip hop and rap videos, when actually they are not. Rap and hip hop artists actually do adhere to these rules. They do make distinctions between black women and “hos.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not defending the baseless, vicious mysogny that passes for entertainment within hip hop. I’m merely trying to illustrate a point. Rap and hip hop glorify the kind of women that the young men “think” they can get over on, i.e. sleep with, what ever, you know what I’m talking about. The young rappers are not talking about the kind of women they marry.
Snoop Dogg said it eloquently and got roundly booed for his effort. Nelly has also been roundly castigated for his mysogny. But nothing has been said about his herculean efforts to save the life of his dying sister.
Just as it’s not fair, like Imus did, to broadly and unjustifiably paint all black women as “nappy headed hos.” it’s not fair to paint every word from rappers and hip hop artists as wrong, especially when you don’t understand the grey areas involved.
I have already said we need to get rid of the “N” word. Bitch, Ho, and other pejoratives used toward women should also be summarily tossed, pronto.
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