8.31.2007

Now see, What had happened was....

Coincidence rules the world. How many times have we all ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, or even the right place at the right time. Coincidence right....When it’s a good thing we’re happy. We go on. But if it’s a bad thing, well then your life may take a turn and you may end up in the middle of a Karma smack down.

Which brings me around to good ole boy Senator Larry Craig who, if you believe his version, heard the call of nature while changing planes and went into a restroom at the airport. Much as luck would have it, he chose to squat in a stall next to an undercover policeman out to trap gay men who like anonymous sex in bathrooms.

The officer was on stakeout looking for illegal activity. He was there because of numerous complaints about this particular restroom. In fact, this particular restroom is listed on the internets as a good place for sex if you happen to be in Minneapolis.

Well, poor unsuspecting Senator Craig, apparently made some strange gestures with his hands like dangling his fingers under the stall wall and bumping the policeman’s foot with his own foot, again under the stall wall and got arrested for disorderly conduct. He was not charged with soliciting, but in his statement after his arrest, Craig accused the officer of soliciting him and entrapping him.

Later, Craig quietly pleaded guilty to reduced charges, paid a fine. He did all of this by mail a couple of months after the incident. He even signed a statement saying he understood the allegations. I believe him, after all, isn’t he a United States Senator? Aren’t these the guys who write our laws....so he must have understood what he signed, right?

Now that the story has come out the Senator is claiming he is innocent.......”I AM NOT GAY” he said in a news conference with his wife fixed firmly to his side, proving that he is a straight man.

At least I think she was a woman, drag queens don’t usually look so dowdy, so she must have been real. But, “I AM NOT GAY!” Ranks right up there with ‘I AM NOT A CROOK!” or “I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN!”

Craig has long been rumored to be gay. The talk keeps coming back every time the very conservative Senator votes against legislation affecting gays and lesbians.

I don’t know what he is, and I don’t really care.

I just think it’s yucky to touch bathroom walls and stalls. And I certainly don’t want to talk to anyone while I’m trying to do the doo. It’s hard to grunt, push and expel while holding a conversation.

But then maybe I’m not as talented as the Senator from Idaho. Judging from the way his fellow republicans are acting, I guess they can’t talk and shit at the same time either.
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