Dick Cheney

The big Dick is in the news again today, claiming not to understand why nobody likes him. Well, Dick, lets take a look at this.

Why don’t I love thee? Let me count the ways
I spite thee to the depth and breath and height
my soul can reach, when you pass within my sight.

For the bigotry that thee spew against me and my kind
I curse thee freely, everyday that I draw breath
while striving to right what thee have undone
in this most beautiful of countries, called the US of A.

As the world turns against us, from praise to hate,
I despise thee, purely, your utterances, your countenance
causes me nothing but pain...

Enough of this....and with great apology to Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I was unsuccessfully attempting to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, as the saying goes.

But a pig is a pig, is a pig....Dick Cheney, who espouses discriminatory policy against the LGBT community while raising and continuing to support a gay daughter, a gay daughter in law and a child born to that couple, is the height of hypocrisy. What’s good for you and your family is also good for the rest of us, Dick.

Cheney, the head neocon in the White House, who is probably more responsible for us going to war in Iraq, than puppet boy, himself. Dubya may have pulled the switch, but Cheney pulled the strings. But sending our troops to war without the proper equipment or body armor, is grounds for impeachment. How many families have been torn apart because the soldiers have to keep going back, over and over, because we don’t have enough troops to fight your war, because you and that other fool, Rumsfeld attempted to do more with less...you know, just like what your corporate buddies have done to America’s workforce..

How many deferments did you use to keep your flat ass out of combat? You have no right to vilify or to short change anybody who serves this country.

Question....How many of our CIA operatives died when you and your cabal decided to out Valerie Plame out of spite, in order to get back at her husband?

Question...Do you feel good about destroying the Constitution of the United States of America?

Your penchant for taking care of your oil buddies, writing policy to protect them, while screwing the very people who put you in office...make you feel good, Dick.

How about the big time no bid contracts that have allowed Blackwater and KBR to rape Iraq and steal billions of dollars...What was your cut, Dick.

I could go on and on and on....But the last thing that ticks me off is you, in your interview, daring to compare yourself to Gerald Ford....Yes, he pardoned Richard Nixon....But Ford, really was a good guy, caught up in political circumstances....you, are no Gerald Ford. He was a human being, unlike yourself.

When I think of you, the word “slug” comes to mind....You know that viscous little wormlike creature that crawls around leaving a slime trail? That’s you Dick.

I wish I could hate you, but “hate” is the one word that my family taught me never to use under any circumstances, in relation to another so called human being.. So I will stop here, because I’m awfully tempted to use that word against you, but I won’t...dammit, I won’t.

The Accidental President

Until Bill Clinton came along, Gerald R. Ford was my favorite president. He is still in my top two.

He never intended to be president, just like I never intended to be a reporter. The stars lined up and we did what we did.

He was selected in 1973, to replace Spiro T. Agnew, as Richard Nixon’s vice president. He ascended to the White House when Nixon was forced to resign. Mr, Ford is the only man to serve as vice president and president without being elected to either office.

While all this was going on, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I had no clear plan. I never thought a black woman could have a future in radio and television. But it happened and in 1976, I met Gerald Ford, president of the United States of America.

I met him when I was a rookie reporter and he was a rookie president. He always had an easygoing way about him. He always smiled, looked you in the eye and if you were close enough, shook your hand.

His handshake wasn’t that phony politician wet fish handshake. It was real. Solid. Firm. Friendly.

Mr. Ford always remembered your name. I wasn’t a national reporter at the time, but I covered him several times, at different times around the country, and after that first time, he always called me Jo.

Back in the day, before Hinckly shot Reagan, it was possible to get close to the president and sometimes Mr. Ford would hang around and chat. He talked sports, current events, and sometimes even asked about your life. Nothing special. Just chitchat before things turned official.

I liked him and looked forward to seeing him, even when there was no chitchat. His eyes always said “hello” even when he couldn’t.

Gerald Ford and others, like Barry Goldwater, Jimmy Carter, George McGovern, Ed Muskie, Tip O’Neill, are the last of a dying breed of bigger than life men, who never took themselves so seriously that they couldn’t connect with just plain folks.

Gerald Ford was a nice guy, period.

Rest in peace, Mr. President.


(originally published in CRAM Magazine, Volume 2, 6/2006)