Put Down that Burger & Fries! Here Comes the Fat Patrol!

Welcome to the twilight zone. Seems the Japanese have passed a law mandating what they call “special checkups” for citizen 40 years old and up. These special checkups are done by doctors who measure the size of the patient’s waist. If a man is bigger than 33.5 inches or a woman bigger than 34.5 inches, then they are told to lose weight.

I kid you not, according to the story in the NY Times, the national law went into effect two months ago and requires corporations and city municipalities to measure the waistlines of it’s citizens. The governmental goal is to shrink the overweight population by 10 percent over the next four years, and by 25 percent over the next seven years.

According to the report, the government will impose financial and other penalties if the goals are not met.

Japan’s Minister of Health argues the new rules will cut back on cases of diabetes and stroke, as well as lower health care costs for it’s aging population.

Critics are arguing that the Japanese people are already some of the thinnest in the world and don't even come close to the problems in America. The only heavy Japanese that anyone sees are sumo wrestlers and I would be willing to bet they are exempt as long as they are working in the sport.

The story goes on to say that the Japanese people are literally breaking their necks to comply with the new laws. In fact, the mayor of one town and six of his buddies reportedly dubbed themselves the seven anti metabo samurai and started working out rigorously until one of them dropped dead from a heart attack. The seven metabo, er samurai promptly disbanded.

Metabo is the prefered Japanese word for obese...so if you’re anti metabo, it means you’re anti fat.

Could you see our government trying something like that here? American corporations are already trying to back door employees with rules on health, like the recent attempts to control smoking behavior on the job and at home. So far, the courts have ruled that companies here, can fire you for smoking at home.

You can also be fired for anything that violates your company’s morals behavior clauses....conduct unbecoming...you know the drill...If I were you, I would find that clause and read it because I guarantee you it contains more than prohibitions about porn and misuse of email.

And with all of the Japanese companies setting up shop in America, can the fat patrol be far off, here on American shores?

Don’t laugh. They may be knocking on your door next.

Halfakin American!?.....”Yo Mama!”

I don’t usually waste time listening to the would-be commentators of the far, far right who pass off their racism under the guise of Christian conservatism or pseudo-political punditry. I would rather watch grass grow than spend time reacting to these walking wastes of oxygen.

But once in a while, one of these bottom feeders rises from the muck and says something that pushes my buttons releasing my inner Laqitta Shaquitta Jefferson, making me want to go ghetto on their behind.

Rush Limbaugh has taken to referring to Barack Obama as a Halfakin American, apparently in reference to his white mother and black father. Limbaugh apparently can’t find anything of substance with which to attack Obama at this time so early in his run for the White House, so he resorts to veiled racism, playing to the race mixing fears of his listening audience.

Halfakin, indeed!

Say what you really mean Limbaugh. Use the word you really, really want to use. No need to hide. We already know what you are.

Halfakin, indeed!

Everybody in America is half something. The only racially pure people in America are the ones who recently swam the Rio Grande or hopped off an airplane from somewhere else. We are a nation of half-somethings....ALL OF US! It’s what makes us Americans.

Halfakin, indeed!

Truth be told, Rush and Obama are probably cousins twice removed. Or, Rush, can you prove your granddaddy didn’t go into the slave quarters for some midnight chocolate delight. It’s one of those open American secrets that next to being sandwiched by lesbians, the second most popular fantasy of white guys Rush’s age is having sex with a black woman.

Prior to the repeal of laws banning miscegenation, white guys were very busy making Halfakins, some of which were light enough to pass into the mighty Caucasian race. So, Rush, do you know where your ancestors have been?

Hell, who’s yo daddy.....what is yo mama s’posed to be, eh? She passin’? You passin’?

Halfakin American, indeed!

Here’s an idea...take your hillbilly heroin addicted, viagra poppin’, bloated ass back to the bottom of the barrel. Better yet, let’s strap your big butt onto the next unmanned NASA rocket headed to the sun and thereby do something to improve the air quality on earth for the rest of us.

Halfakin, indeed!