If I Wanted Government Up My Ass, I Would Fuck a Congressman

Forgive my bad attitude, but the GOP clown car just parked its anti female jalopy in my backyard.  Oh lucky me.

Saw my first Newt Gingrich ad last night. Messed me up so bad, I pulled out my Xena Collection and loaded episode one on the DVD player. Considering each of Xena's six seasons has about 20 episodes, I'm good until election day in November.

Newt Gingrich on my TV makes me want to hurl. I'll leave the throwing up to Santorum, who is determined to replace the Constitution with the Bible, which is bad luck for me if he succeeds.

Even the possibility of a Santorum Presidency has me talking my dad into giving me a gun, packing my vehicles with supplies and driving deep into Central America never to return to the good ole US of A. No problema, soy habla espanol e portuguese e francais.

Santorum is leading here in Ohio, the home of Oompa Lumpa John the speaker of the house and John-boy Kasich, the clueless. Just what we need, the three stooges reunited in O-high-O. Frothy, Orangy, and Dimwit. Damn!

Makes me so happy, I could just spit. This week is going to be soooooooo much fun! Yeah, about as fun as one of those intravaginal ultrasound probes these fools intend to inflict on women, claiming it is good for a woman's mental and physical health.

I gotta suggestion guys....want to make women feel better? Kill yourselves! Just take a gun and put it to your left temple and pull the trigger. I guarantee women all over the country will feel better.

Honey, “ I've got a headache” will never again be uttered in America. Go ahead, do it for the team, right Frothy? You're used to bending over and taking it for the team, right? Not that Flipper and Lizard-boy need any schooling on assuming the position. After all they've been big time GOP insiders for a very, very long time.

I mean really, the primary is still a week away and yet we Ohioans have been inundated with political commercials since January.

First came Karl Rove and his Crossroads GPS  prevarications. Then came the candidate specific Super Pacs. Now come the candidates, Romney, Santorum, Gingrich and I guess Paul, maybe a little later since his followers seem to be collecting money on the side of the road like homeless people.

I am ready to vote today. In fact, let's call the primary and hold the election now. Get this crazy shit over with now. It is already tired and overplayed.

We know the outcome. Mitt Max Headroom Romney gets the nomination, since this is Amerikka and as we all know the person with the most money wins.

ie, Romney has more money than the Hobbit, or Lizard-boy or Frothy the Snowman. And, he has the backing of the GOP bigwigs. Most important, he looks like a president with his straight Aryan jawline, his plastered in place helmet hair,  $5000 dollar suits, blond trophy wife who has given him five strapping male offspring to showcase his family values.  So he will eventually be given the nomination, brokered convention or not. Doesn't matter.

Once he wins, he can change his name to TOAST!

Now back to my DVD collection.

Frothy's Got the Wheel and Gone!

Another day, another change at the top of the GOP pop charts. This time it's Little Ricky Santorum taking over the driver's seat in the clown car.

The latest polls give him a three percent advantage over the Stiff, otherwise known as Willard, or Mitt or Max as in Headroom Romney. Ron the bigot goat Paul is in third, followed distantly by the suddenly silent Puffy Messiah, the self proclaimed savior of the world, Newt Gingrich.

Let's put this into perspective shall we.

The really, really big story that the main stream media is not covering, is that NOBODY.....and I mean....NOBODY is showing up to vote at these caucuses and primary votes.....NOBODY.

All you heard last week was the Little Ricky swept three states....HE WON THREE...count em...THREE STATES!

Man! Frothy really took it to Romney...didn't he, said the MSM....But like Billy Preston used to sing...”Nothin' from Nothin' leaves Nothin'...ya gotta have somethin', if ya wanna beat Obamaaaaaaaaaaa....” Okay, I added that last part.

The turnout in Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota, I believe....was less than 20% collectively. I heard it was actually around 2% in Colorado and 6% in Missouri...and the media reported that Santorum won 30% of the vote in Colorado!  30% of 2%. hmmmmmmmm....What's that, two registered voters and the janitor walking through the room.

“Nothin' from Nothin' leaves nothin'”

Today, the MSM has Frothy surging based on the latest poll numbers. That's the word they are using...SURGING! And they say, Romney's about to lose his home state of Michigan...not that he lives there...Daddy Romney...you know the one born in Mexico...used to be governor of Michigan...Stiff er Mitt grew up there...I wouldn't call it his state...but the MSM describes it as such, so I'll run with that.

Okay, say this scenario plays out with Santorum barebacking Romney, to win the nomination. Do ya really think the rest of us will open wide and swallow? Hmmmmmm?

Frothy absolutely hates women. He is a general in the GOP war on women. According to his book, he is against women working outside the home. He doesn't think we need birth control or contraception. He says we must carry our rapists baby to termination regardless of the circumstance surrounding conception.

He sided with Komen against Planned Parenthood.

I would imagine he probably doesn't think that rape is a crime based on his past statements.

He has no stated use for Black people, Hispanic people, LGBT people or poor people. I would guess that if by some quirk of fate that he does make it to the White House those FEMA concentration camps will suddenly be put to use for those of us not of anglo saxon or aryan origin.

He is against marriage equality and civil rights in general for anyone other than WASPS.

The last time Santorum ran for office he was an incumbent Congressman. It should be noted that he pissed off his district so badly that they turned him out of office by the largest margin ever for an incumbent to lose, in the history of this country.

And he hasn't changed. This year, he's doubled down on the BS that got him thrown out of office in the first place.

Yet a very small part of the GOP wants this guy to win and apparently the more sensible portions of the GOP are going to stand back and let happen. And the MSM is missing the big picture of what is going on.

I say “oh well.”

Maybe the GOP moderates are actually going to cross the line and vote for Obama..that couldn't happen...could it?

National polls are indicating that this scenario may play out regardless of who wins the GOP nomination.

"Frothy Toast"....good name for a B-grade porn star...bad name for a president...

Gingrich and More Fake Piety from the Phony Christians

Let's get real, there is no war on religion.

This fake ass sanctimonious outcry from the so called right is as bogus as the day is long. In mandating better health care choices for women, the Obama administration is under fire from the same men (primarily white, fake christian men) who brought you the idea that same sex marriage is a danger to heterosexual marriages.

And yes, it is men, those who control the catholic church, those who control other factions of the pseudo-christian right wing as well as those who hate President Obama, who are crying the loudest, by claiming that new federal ruling violates their religious convictions.

HOW!

Please tell me how the law violates your religious convictions, if you have them, they are carved in stone, right? So please tell me how a health care mandate for women, stands between you and your belief in your god?

Inquiring minds want to know.

The new law doesn't say you have to practice birth control. It doesn't say you have to use the morning after pill after you have sex. Hell, it doesn't even force you to have sex. You have the right to abstain. Isn't that what the all knowing Bishops and religious types tell all women and kids...abstain until you get married? The new federal rule simply makes more choices available to women, for their health, because frankly, women are the ones who need to make these choices. Men don't...never have....never will...Men don't die from child birth...women do.

How many guys do you know who stop the sex act because they forgot the condom. The first question at the first sign of pre-coitus interruptus is usually...”ain't you on the pill?” It has always been the woman's burden, just like the kid created before and after its born.

Do ya'll think Newt Gingrich has been celibate or lacking birth control options during his three marriages and god knows how many affairs. Allegedly, Callista is still in her 40's is she on birth control or does Newt carry a cache of Trojans in his pocket?

What about Ricky Santorum? If they're not using birth control, why doesn't he have a family to rival the Duggars instead of a measly 7 offspring?

And what about Mitt. Same thing applies. What's he got...five kids. Somebody's violating a whole lot of religious stricture, aren't they? Well, when he was governor, he signed a mandate just like this, almost word for word. Stood up to Catholic bishops and religious institutions that got their draws in a knot. Guess it's only bad when Obama does it.

28 States already have this mandate on the books. Women are going to do what they need to do, quietly and out of sight of all the uproar kicked up by their partners.

As an example to the blatant hypocrisy of the fake christian right, take the law proposed by a state senator in Oklahoma, which is currently wrestling with a personhood proposal. Lawmakers, there, want to define life as beginning at conception;

“The concept of “personhood” defines human life as beginning at the moment of conception according to the Oklahoma SB1433... that the resulting fetus “at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”

Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson proposed to amend the law with a clause that also grants the same equality to every sperm, making them “sacred so to speak.” It holds men equally accountable for procreation.

“However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” - Johnson amendment.

If left in the bill, this clause would outlaw male masturbation, anal sex (doggie style, for those needing translation), sex with condoms, all forms of fellatio to completion (blow jobs), as well as numerous other acts. 

Girlfriend then turned around and withdrew the amendment as her male colleagues breathed a collective sigh of relief..not that it had a chance of becoming law. It does point out the total stupidity of these laws, that weigh heavily and completely on women while allowing men to escape most if not all of their responsibility. 

One final thought....

98% of catholics practice birth control and when polled 58% of all catholics liked the Obama health mandate....'nough said.

Newt Gingrich in Cincinnati

Well it had to happen. With the Ohio GOP primary set for March 6^th, it's time for the clown car to make an appearance in the Queen City. Newt “Puff Daddy” Gingrich reportedly plans to make some stops along the old three C highway, with Dayton thrown in for good measure.

You can read about it here. 

Our local republican slanted newspaper says Gingrich and Callista have a taste for some Price Hill Chili and will plunk down there sometime on Tuesday. Afterward he and she will head to Dayton, then Columbus and end up in Cleveland for a big rally on Wednesday.

Of course you know that Newt is coming off his latest loss and subsequent temper tantrum to Max Headroom Romney. Romney dusted Lizard-boy in Nevada this past weekend. Literally treated him with all kinds of disrespect. It was not at all in keeping with the image of world savior that Newt has of himself.

He thinks he's the messiah but, so far has only alluded to it, not come right out and said it, yet. Maybe he'll leave the anointing up to Calllista, letting her finally speak instead of just stand there with that silent gaze trained only on him.

Ya know, now that I think about it, maybe that gaze and position next to his podium is her way of keeping her boy on a leash since we all know her dog does like to wander.

But I digress. I hope some enterprising reporter here in town has the guts to ask the Newter about the so called war on religion that he has been spouting off about in between bouts of calling Romney a liar, and telling us black people how shiftless and lazy we are.

Newt claims the new health regulations requiring insurance plans to cover birth control in the same manner as they cover erectile dysfunction drugs is a war, on first the Catholic Church and second, on religion in general. ( Newt is a new convert to Catholicism so have patience with his undying fanaticism).

Question- How is this possible since the regulation as I read it says the insurance plans must provide birth control coverage, but it doesn't mandate or force anyone to actually use birth control. You can still stick to the rhythm method if you want. The church can still outlaw birth control for its followers, if it wants.

What's the big deal?

Why should Newter be you ticked off about birth control when serial adultery doesn't bother him, lying doesn't bother him, or casting untrue aspersions on his neighbor doesn't bother him.

Anyway, I'm gonna try and find out where he is set to land and see if I can get close, welcome his highness to the Queen City and maybe even get some answers to a whole host of questions percolating in my mind.

I've always been a sucker for clowns...

Gingrich Followers Speak

Show they like rewriting history as much as their newly found fearless leader....

By now, you've probably seen the story coming out of Tennessee, about a group of teabaggers who want to tell the truth about American history. You can read it here.  

Basically they want to take out as much about slavery in America as possible, because according to them, it makes the founding fathers look bad. In other words, “yes we know the founding fathers were slave owners...but we don't have to talk about or teach about it...do we?”

This group of knuckle draggers believes that talking about the bad things the white men did to brown people in this country only incites the brown people to be pissed off and act out against white people, or resent white people and demand handouts from the government as payment for these “made up injustices as taught by bad history teachers.

These fools held a news conference during which the spokesman said; 

 

"an awful lot of made-up criticism about, for instance, the founders intruding on the Indians or having slaves or being hypocrites in one way or another." - Hal Rounds a Tennessee attorney.

Pardon my obtuseness....but when is taking land by force and slaughtering every Native American in the way, an intrusion?

INTRUSION!? WTF!

Invasion and conquer...maybe....genocide...surely...but INTRUSION?

And what about that slavery thing. The truth of the matter was that most of the presidents prior to the Civil War were slaves owners. They OWNED OTHER PEOPLE FOR PROFIT. They used them, raped them, sold them, split up families and killed them when they wanted to.

If that makes the founding fathers look bad...then so be it...It remains the truth whether it appears in a history book in Tennessee, or not.

The Middle Passage took millions of lives. It was not merely the Triangle Trade between countries that Texas teaches it's children about.

Conservatives, teabaggers and other intellectually challenged bigots have spent lifetimes attempting to cover up the two indigenous Holocausts that happened in North America after it was “discovered” by whites...the killing and continued persecution of Native Americans and the slave trade and practices that brought most Blacks to America as property, not people or human beings.

Two Holocausts! Two vicious ongoing acts of genocide that have never really been resolved. The repercussions continue to reverberate throughout the USA.

Don't think so...then listen to the words coming out of the right about the current Commander in Chief....replay the words of the current crop of lame POTUS wannabes running for the GOP nomination.  The so called history teacher named Newt knows better, but he is too wrapped up in his fantasy world to realize the danger of his ever increasing over statements.  Paul doesn't care, Romney and Santorum are simply  pandering to find a new job in DC.

America has never told the truth about its history. What is going on in Tennessee and Texas is merely a retrogression of the revision that has passed for history since 1619.

Another example from the rewrites....The KKK was a club...The Black Panther Party was a violent terrorist organization.

Go figure!

Newt Gingrich, Anointed in SC, Jesus Mary and Joseph!

With all the flair and petulance of a three year old, Newt Gingrich has won the South Carolina Primary by a very wide margin over the anointed one, otherwise known as Mitt Romney. Ricky the pope Santorum finished a distant third while the hobbit, Ron Paul, came in fourth, visibly demonstrating his short legged disadvantage.

So what does this mean? Well, I see shades of 1976 in this one. 1976 was the last time that the GOP had a real fight for the nomination. It was also the first time that I covered a convention as a working on air news reporter. It was held in Kansas City and Ronald Reagan and Gerald Ford came in with a 50-50 split, or thereabouts in delegates.

I was personally appalled by what I saw and heard coming out of the delegates' mouths and rightly guessed that Ford would be the nominee, because I naively believed that “right” would prevail (there were still real live conservatives in charge of the GOP at the time, and I do like real conservatives instead of this fake christian variety now). It did, sorta. What really happened was a deal apparently being cut with the Mississippi Delegation. Pre convention, the delegation was supposed to be solidly in Reagan's corner, however when boss Haley Barbour stepped to the mic, he threw his delegation to Ford much to the consternation of most of his delegation.

Despite the Mississippi vote, Nixon's Southern strategy was working back then, and obviously from the vote last night, is still working today. However it was circumvented or short circuited by the powers that be in the GOP. The final result, Ford wins the nomination, but loses the presidency to Jimmy Carter.

It remains to be seen if the GOP elite will force feed Mitt Romney to their constituents, in the same manner in which they force fed them Gerald Ford. Romney's been running since the 90's and still nobody who claims to be republican likes him, or wants him to represent them. If the GOP elite is smart, they will make the base happy and come with somebody like Newt. But Newt has burned every bridge he's crossed on both sides of the aisle. Final result-democrats win again. The question is...will they win big or bigger.

Ricky and Ron have the lifespan of a snowball in hell, or maybe an ice ball in hell. They are both going to Florida, but probably not much further. Which brings us back to Newt, he of the self proclaimed towering intellect powered by prepubescent temperament unbecoming a man with so much white hair on his head.

Gingrich is playing his sideshow for the voters with no memory of his past. They seem to care only for the stuff coming out of his mouth, true or not. Most of his stuff is not truth based in the slightest of senses. Kinda reminds ya of that cool breeze that unexpectedly blew in from Wasilla, Alaska, a few years ago. The only difference between the two is their gender..one female...one male...both legends in their own mind.

To quote Kathleen Parker, “Newt Gingrich is an angry little attack muffin.” He attacks anyone and everyone who doesn't think the same as he, or want to live inside the fantasy in which he cloaks himself.

After all, it was just a couple of weeks ago, in Iowa, where his petulance and mental instability was on full display after he loss to Romney. Romney lost too, but we didn't know it until the recount this past week.

Regardless, Newt was pissed and he showed it, and he's been taking it out on anyone and everyone since that night.

Like the good liberal that I am, I am going to pop some popcorn, lay in a couple of bottles of my favorite wine and watch it all play out for as long as it takes. And I really hope it takes all the way to July for the GOP to settle on a candidate.

And since I'm in a predicting mood...I'm gonna tell you who it is they are going to choose to represent them...

His name is TOAST.

C-ya in November!

Newt “Sho I'm a Ho” Gingrich

Oh he is soooooooooooooooooo GHETTO! Tryin' to pretend that he is "to the manor born."  Please!

Gingrich's dramatic performance at last night's GOP debate was classic Hood Rat behavior.

We all have Hood Rats in our family...you know those fools who face you dead on after they've done their latest doo, and bare-face lie to you! They know they did it...you know they did it...and they know that you know they did it...BUT THEY FACE YOU AND LIE TO YOU ANYWAY, because they believe you will give into their wishes, like you've done in the past..

Hood Rats believe that no matter the transgression...they will be forgiven and allowed to continue living in a world of their own making, with no consequences.

They always signal the lie....“Now what had happen was....” Hood Rat plain and simple opening statement....He's lyin'.....Ho-speak for get ready for a story..

Newt's got the indignant anger down pat....He stares in the camera...gets very red, white and terse on his responses....answers like he's the victim...

“My ex wife is lying!......I did not ask her for an open marriage!”

Kinda rings like...”I did not have sex with that woman” doesn't it.

And you know what the most aggravating part of this whole charade is...the crowds...made up of similarly situated, so called christian individuals...standing up and giving this fool a raucous ovation...There is always a Greek chorus...Hood rats always, always travel in packs..

They cheered him, the hypocrites....Lays proof to the belief...any white man will do in 2012..

13 years after he screwed over his second wife to cavort and then marry his third..”Sho I'm Ho” Gingrich is still telling others how to live their lives. “Sho” was one of the first to sign that phony pledge to uphold heterosexual marriage...

“Sho” wants to instill bigotry into the Constitution in the form of an amendment banning same sex marriage...guess he feels the sanctity of his own is in jeopardy....

He says Mitt “Max Headroom” Romney is not tough enough on abortion, and that Ricky the Pope Santorum is not conservative enough...

And he has the audacity to lecture Black people about everything including moral values, religion and work ethics, delivered with all the condescending master to slave imagery that he's read about in his history books.

Classic, classic, classic ghetto behavior...

Newt “Sho I'ma Ho” Gingrich is angry that he is being called on his HO-ish tendencies, but he is not contrite, nor is he sorry. He's just pissed off that at least some of the people are calling him out on his shit.

Because, you know that is what eventually happens with Hood Rats...they get called on their shit...finally....And it usually begins with the phrase...

.”Nigga please...”

Little Ricky Calls it Quits, Drops Out of Presidential GOP Scrum

Little Ricky going home to work on his Texas Secession speech....

I always heard that god don't make mistakes, so I guess Sarah and Christine and Herman and Michele and now Little Ricky must a been lyin' through their teeth when they said god told em to run for president. If he told em to run, he apparently didn't mean for them to win.

It wasn't god talkin' to em. It must have been the voices in their head talking louder than usual. Or maybe it was just caucasian arrogance telling them that any ole white guy or gal was good enough to beat the Black man in the White House.

Apparently you still gotta be a politician to serve in DC and like him or not, the target of all their animosity is a very good politician.

Tough to beat....Not that he's had to work at it while the clown circus plays dates throughout the country.

Or maybe he is the one who god is really talking to. We'll never know, because the tall stoic mocha commander in chief doesn't reveal himself very much, to us, anyway.

The Grand Old Party is down to four choices unless they can talk somebody else into the race. They have perennial candidate Willard Mitt Max Headroom Romney (he's the rich one, the great white hope one), Then comes Ron Paul the elder ( The Hobbit) another perennial candidate who never seems to get anything done in the form of legislation been there all this time and has only passed one bill out of 600 something sent forward.

Then there is Saint Rick Santorum (the Pope's puppet and Howdy Doodie's long lost brother in a sweater vest), and last but not least slime ball Newt Gingrich.

I always hesitate to put Gingrich in this race because it is sooooo obvious from his campaign that he is actually running for dictator of America. One would think with all those history degrees that he would know the difference between the president of a republic and a head dic, er dictator in charge.

The final four are still on message...their goal is to trash the economy and the country...they hate women...they hate minorities and blacks in particular and they want to turn the world backward to 1862, when all they had to do was to kill the minority (Indians, Mexicans or slaves) to get what they wanted.

So now that we know that Mitt didn't win Iowa, who is going to blink next? Is the fix in for Romney? Or will Santorum knock him off and open the door for Lizard boy to slither through....Forget Paul...he is equally despised by his party as well as the opposition.

We will just have to wait and see, won't we?

Politic Wars-The War Against Obama

Not so long ago in the galaxy that we inhabit.....

The brothers Koch, twin wizards, the pair
Put out a call to their champions,  make haste to the state of  New Hampshire.
They have only one goal, and that is  to find,
One among them  strong enough to retake DC
Solely for the purpose of kicking out the rabble in the White House, you see.
The brothers want Obami-wan and Princess Michelle, gone,  vanquished, returned to Chicago. Out of sight...out of mind...out of the way
of the real  masters of the universe, who always rule the day.

A whole round table of champions answered the call
But only seven showed up, veteran warriors all.

The head of the table claimed by Sir Mitt of Mormon,
A presidential specimen if ever there was one.
All spit shined and polished with nary an out of place hair,
No substance, all talk, no real thoughts to share.

Enter, Sir Newton, who just lost his army,
He  vows to fight  on alone, but only if necessary.
He has convinced himself in the world that he inhabits,
The little people love him and desperately need him
To toss out the knaves who are ruining their days.
So Newt answers the call with his lady at his side
Macbeth she is named by the media who hide
out of her reach when she passes by.

Sir Herman of Cain, the pizza man king
Thinks he's ready to step into the heavyweight ring
He's come to believe that he is the next great white hope,
No James Earl Jones here, he's as bad as the pope.
Rescuing America is what he plans to do,
Pepperoni pizza for all
Unless you prefer tofu.

Sir Paul the libertarian is at it again,
Says the world is finally coming around to his way of viewing
Not sure what that means, but I'm sure he will tell us when he so deigns
No newsletter for him, Paul will just talk at us, instead.
Past newsletters you see are very bigoted in tenor,
Not wise  in the biracially brown world that is nearly upon us.
Deny bigoted thoughts, he can't because it is obvious
His demon spawn named Rand has memorized
both chapter and verse, using it as a gameplan
to conquer earth.

Sir Timothy T-Paw Pawlenty,  Minnesota's Vanilla Ice,
searching for the beat, looking for a pulse
trying to find his voice among the cacophony of noise.
Drowned out by the other more vocal crew.
Easily overlooked, doesn't stand out.
Blink and you miss him
Not surprising, no doubt.

Sir Rick of Santorum, don't know why he surfaced.
Long thought politically dead, killed by the verbal poisons
regularly spewing from his mouth, and rumbling through his head.
Hates women and gays and lesbians too.
Black people don't stand a chance
if little Ricky Sunshine makes it through.

And last but not least is the Lady Michele
she of the deer trapped in headlights stare
oft blinded but never at a loss for words,
which often come  garbled,  spilling out nonsensical rhymes
leaving only  confusion and mystification in their  unfocused wake.

The seven stood their ground, talking points imbedded,
rehearsed over and over until convinced they really said it.
Nothing new did they add to the political conversation.
It was old talk..2008 talk..we've heard it before,
There is no surprise, here.  The only real message
laid on the table last night, was to take down Obami-wan
 and turn back the clock.

Newt's Big Adventure or Or There and Back Again by Newton LMG Brandyash

When it comes to politics, Americans just love their clown princes. Gives us something to talk about around the  water cooler in between the latest actor suicide by television,  bimbo outbreaks and crisis in the middle east. How else do you describe the seriousness being given to the announcement by Newton Leroy McPherson Gingrich, otherwise known as Newt.

Newt, the legend in his own mind, is again mounting a fake run to the White House. He's not really serious, he just likes the drama of the chase. He likes the chaos, the standing in the middle of the hurricane and being the center of attention when he walks into a room. He loves it when reporters ask nonsensical, non essential questions, hanging on his every word.  He can win, but he doesn't know what to do after he does. Winning Congress means you're on the team. But winning means you have to share the spotlight with about 500 other local drama queens sent to lead America. As we all know, there is no "I" in team. Newt  made it to Speaker of the House which is a lead spot on Capitol Hill, but he is not the HNIC. He is part of the leadership. He's not even the BIG speaker. The BIG speaker is always the guy in the Senate. Newt was the little speaker in the House.

  And everyone knows the really, really big  24/7 drama queens always end up in the oval office. 

Nope, last time Newt made it to Congress he had way too much time on his hands. And the  abundance of all those pretty blond conservative lobby ladies and congressional wives in training, masquerading as office help, didn't help matters either.

Let me refresh your memory about the callow fellow named after a salamander. He's been in and out of politics for a long time. Back in 1994 Newt led the GOP and helped usher in the now historic Contract on America, that resulted in among other things, a governmental shutdown and the passage of the Congressional Accountability Act of 1995. This nearly unanimously supported measure was designed to erase some of the perks of being an elected representative.

In between redesigning the moral fiber and values of America while  surreptitiously running around on his cancer-stricken wife-wife number two, he managed to violate Congressional ethics rules and regulations no less than 84 times.  83 of those charges were eventually dropped, but the one that stuck was knowingly lying to a Congressional Committee.  Newt was forced to tuck his tail between his legs and resign in disgrace, all the while calling for the impeachment of Bill Clinton for getting a blow job from Monica Lewinsky one night in his office.

Since Newt was cheating on his second wife at the time, guess it would be safe to say he knew all about bj's in the office, maybe in the back seat of his limo, too, since the GOP was on an austerity kick back in the day and it simply wouldn't do to see the moral compass of the GOP checking into a nearby motel or two.

Bet bj's in the office were meant to be one of the perks eliminated by the Congressional Accountability Act.

Since then, Newt has written books, come out as a dinosaur enthusiast, commented on television and feinted runs for the White House. The fake runs means he can once again raise stupid piles of money and get lots and lots of publicity, for basically no reason at all.

But this time, he says he  is serious and he signaled it by unveiling a website. Not an exploratory committee or an outright announcement that goes something like "My fellow Americans, today I am running for President of the United States." No Newton Leroy McPherson Gingrich put up a website at http://www.newt.org. You heard me, he unveiled a website...bought the domain for his name.

So what's he running for-CEO of Microsoft?

In the words of  Sharron Angry er, Angle, c'mon Newt....man up!.... grow some!...lock and load!....Go ahead throw your hat in the ring prove that any....ENN-NEE.. master of the universe can defeat the chocolate covered usurper now sleeping in America's master bedroom.

I dare ya!

Friday Rap

Meghan McCain on Bristol Palin....isn't this just another case of the pot calling the kettle black?

Class warfare...

Maybe it's elite rich kid with name picking on poor white trash kid with name...Both employed and making money due to their parents' noteriety rather than any innate talent or skill...

-0-

Remember when “going postal” was an anomaly rather than a solution to problems at work?

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Newt Gingrich...bet he's pissed this morning...wants to be taken seriously as a candidate for President and the all the MSM is asking him is about that fool in Florida who wants to burn the Quran...the Park51 community center....and the Oompa Loompa from Ohio....John Boehner...Gingrich has to smile and put the best spin on it that he can...but his eyes say differently...guess any face time is better than none at all....

Note to the GOP....

You really need to rethink the choices you're offering to America....A guy named after a lizard, whose real life calling is disrespecting and abusing the women stupid enough to marry him.....an Orange cartoon character who would rather play golf than legislate...a man who wears magic underwear......and a dark horse who has an anal sex problem....throw some Snowbilly into that mix and you have the Republican convention in 2014...that is really...really scary....

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Once again, the American people are being victimized by the MSM's fascination and determination to make a news story from the words of an idiot.

It is absolutely painful to watch these so called journalists sit there with pinched faces attempting to salvage their dignity talking about things that don't belong on television...at least in the news category.

For once...Miz Mitch, as in McConnell is right....ignore the idiot preacher...turn off the mics...this is obviously a man caught in the headlights....looking for a graceful exit out of the spotlight...

Give it to him, for goodness sake!....Turn off the damn mics.....go find somebody else to harass.

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Like the right's new super duo combination...Snowbilly and Mormon Boy...defenders of truth...justice and the white American way...

Well...that's not totally fair.....Snow has a black witch doctor hidden in her closet that she brings out to cast spells once in a while before she ventures into a black neighborhood for speaking engagements...

What'd you say?....It never Snows in black neighborhoods? Oh...Okay...So I have to travel to Alaska and pay $225 per ticket to see the Snow and MB moose and grizzly juggling show, paying tribute to those who died on 9/11....

Well hell.....isn't it part of Mormon Boy's religion to travel into the wild and recruit savages to convert and pray with him...They knock on my door all the time...in pairs of two...all white and shiny in their black suits, crisp white shirts and thin dark ties...I always talk to them and the Jehovah Witness who like turning up on Saturdays..

Except they have a problem when I ask them about that Mormon thing...you know the one where Black people aren't really considered human...I know they took it off the books in 1978...but that's too close for my comfort...so I just have to go there....

Damn! No Snow and No MB...Guess I'll have to find another way to help restore America on this 9/11 weekend....shoot off some fireworks or something...aim them at the Carew Tower..

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YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! A federal judge has ruled Don't Ask, Don't Tell unconstitutional...says gays have a right to serve openly in the military....

Maybe Obama will buy a clue and issue an executive order staying the execution of current law...this will send a message that he is serious about helping the LGBT community become equal...

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Every Once in a while...I've just got to ask...............

You Should Vote Republican in November

If....You believe that a party who admits it has no legislation and therefore no solution to the problem is better at governing America..

"We will lose on legislation. But we will win the message war every day, and every week, until November 2010,"........ "Our goal is to bring down approval numbers for [Speaker Nancy] Pelosi and for House Democrats. That will take repetition. This is a marathon, not a sprint." -Rep. Patrick McHenry, GOP North Carolina

You should vote Republican in November if..........you believe that John McCain, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, David Vitter, Haley Barbour, Michele Bachmann, Virginia Fox, Linsey Graham, Jim DeMint and Mitch McConnell can do a better job of keeping this country out of an economic depression.

You should vote Republican in November if.....you believe this country should go to war with Iran while allowing Israel to simultaneously pull us into in a war with Palestine within the next two years, and that's before we get out of Afghanistan.

You should vote Republican in November if...... you really believe that tax cuts for the wealthiest 10^th of the American population will translate into 15 million middle class jobs instead of a trillion dollar increase in the deficit over the next generation.

You should vote Republican in November if.......you really believe that the GOP WILL force big business to bring back all those outsourced jobs to the third world and put Americans back to work.

You should vote Republican in November if......you believe that out of work Americans are lazy and can't find a new job because they're not looking.

You should vote Republican in November if......you think unemployment insurance benefits gives people a reason NOT to look for a job.

You should vote Republican in November if.....you believe that the GOP will end DADT and repeal DOMA while allowing Domestic Partner benefits to stay on the books...

You should vote Republican in November if.....you think medicare, medicaid and social security should be privatized or eliminated altogether.

You should vote Republican in November if.....you think health care reform should be repealed and 40 million Americans don't need health insurance.

You should vote Republican in November if.....you think the public school system should be shut down

You should vote Republican in November if......big business should be allowed to leverage elections in favor of the candidates who benefit business most.

You should vote Republican in November if.....you believe this really is your country and you need to take back control.

You should vote Republican if......you believe it's okay to actively discriminate against gay people until you, yourself get forced out of the closet and made to reveal your own hidden sexual proclivities.

You should vote Republican if......you believe it's okay to rail against the stimulus as not working while taking credit for it back home.

You should vote Republican if........you believe, it's okay to drink your dinner daily, patronize prostitutes, cheat on your wife, and employ wife beaters on your staff while castigating anyone else who engages in similar behavior as morally bankrupt.

You should vote Republican if........you feel America needs a state religion.

You should vote Republican if.........you believe women are incapable of making their own decisions and don't deserve equal pay for equal work

You should vote Republican if.........you believe that global warming is a myth...that the glaciers are not melting...the continents not sinking....and mother nature can handle the ozone problem naturally without any help from those of us who created the problem in the first place.

You should vote Republican if........you really and truly believe that come Nov 3^rd, when the GOP takes over, the world will revert back to the way it was....

That Sarah Palin or a man named Newt are the next coming of Ronald Reagan and John Wayne combined...

That Obama won't be president....

That Black people, women and gays will stop being so uppity and visible...

That everyone will suddenly seek their answers from a christian god...

That all Mexicans and Chicanos will suddenly decide to go home to Mexico...

That Darwinism will disappear from science books or slavery will disappear from history books....

That Muslims will be stripped of their citizenship, even if they were born here....

That Pat Boone will do a cover of Gin n Juice and rocket to the top of the BillBoard Charts, putting vanilla rock back in control on the radio...

Or, that the world will end on 2012 ...or earlier in May, 2011, if you believe in a certain evangelical preacher in California...

A Use For the Patriot Act

Make no mistake about it, I consider the USA Patriot Act, pushed through Congress by Bush&Co, into law just 34 days after 9/11, to be very bad law.

It should not be on the books, if America is to remain the Republic and bastion of personal freedoms that we delude ourselves into thinking that it is.

However, since it is on the books and the Obama Administration is so far comfortable in leaving it there intact, then I think it should be put to use post haste.

The Patriot Act can legally be used to go after domestic terrorists such as the guy who killed Dr. George Tiller, yesterday while he was at church.

Those of us old enough to remember, recall the days when the so called pro life movement regularly used this kind of activity to scare doctors and medical providers away from rendering legal medical help to women, and also to scare women into hiding, fearful of the crazed masses of pro-birth fanatics camped outside clinics.

Yesterday’s killing was merely the first salvo.

The killings always follow after movement leaders or talking heads take to the airwaves stirring up the base to take action to save the babies..no matter who else dies in the process.

Title VIII of the Patriot Act redefines the term "domestic terrorism" to include assassination or kidnaping as terrorist activity in addition to mass murder and destruction. The murder of Dr. Tiller was assassination, plain and simple.

The definition also takes in activities that are "dangerous to human life, that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or any State.....that are intended to intimidate or coerce a civilian population.... or influence the policy of a government..

The Patriot Act also defines the steps that can be taken to penalize those who support the terrorist. It is a crime to harbor or to conceal a terrorist or to help them in any way.

The government can legally seize any property or bank accounts of any group or individual who gives so much as information or vocal support to terrorists. Supporters can be jailed for up to 10 years in federal prison.

Remember how pro birth radical Eric Rudolph was found practically hiding in plain sight for several years. Many people in the area helped him elude authorities. Rudolph bombed the Atlanta Summer Olympics killing five people...he confessed to bombing women's clinics, and gay clubs.

He had help doing what he did...those helpers have not even been arrested, or prosecuted.

And, inciting to riot or to do violence is not protected speech under the First Amendment to the Constitution either. The Federal Communications Commission would be within its rights to levy some heavy fines, rather than twiddling their thumbs or worrying over the ramiifications of Janet Jackson’s nipples at the Superbowl.

Ya hearin’ me.....Bill....Rush...Randall Terry...Dick....Tancredo...Newt?

Although these clowns will never take responsibility for the effect of their words. Nor will anyone in the mainstream media be bold enough to step back from the controversy and not give these men the platform they crave. After all they do serve the same master....broadcasters and newscasters all owned by the same corporations chasing the same big bucks to fuel the bottom-line.

Nobody bites the hand of the man who signs their paychecks..

These days..the guys in government...the guys on the radio and at the news desks and own the corporations...are all the same...

Just Because We Can

The FDA is getting ready to rubber stamp a pill that will take away our periods, period. There isn’t a woman alive who hasn’t wished away “her friend”. But now that we can...should we? I would honestly feel more comfortable if this new pill had been developed by women, with a female spokesperson, instead of some guy telling me I should be happy to get rid of my menses. It kind of feels like when men were pushing Valium and brandy at women to quiet them down in the fifties and sixties. Guess I don’t trust them. Has there been enough study to determine what happens to women who go without periods over an extended period of time?

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We can’t save the country or secure the cities, so we build walls to keep people safe? Didn’t they try this already in Berlin? I thought the surge was working. I thought we were making headway in Iraq. My bad!

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Gonzales says he will stay as Attorney General as long as he can be effective...say what? When was he ever effective?

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Disney wants to release Song of the South...you know the movie about Uncle Remus that introduced us to the song “Zip pi Dee doo dah”....The blogosphere is awash with controversy about whether it should be released....Most of the folks doing the hyperventilating have never seen it and are discussing it through the prism of later day mores. I say release it...watch it and make up your own mind. Good or bad...it’s history......

For the record...I saw it when I was a kid...in a segregated theater(blacks were relegated to the balcony)...I loved it...It still brings a smile to my heart, even though I am fully aware, now, and recognize it for what it is.

And....I also don’t like Gone With the Wind, either..but if it’s out...so should be Song of the South...

We shouldn’t white wash history (no pun intended)...it is...what it is.....There is already too much revisionism going on as we speak....

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Dennis the Menace Kucinich wants to impeach Cheney and is in fact scheduled to introduce the articles of impeachment soon. Cheney’s puppet should go first. In fact, let’s just clean house all together...

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Newt, I wanna be president, Gingrich, is blaming the tragedy at Virginia Tech on liberalism....Tinky Winky strikes again...I want a hit off of what he's smoking..

Presidential Fiddle Faddle

Hillary, Obama, enough with the JFK comparisons. Neither one of you can fill those shoes, before he became president, and certainly not after. Let’s stick to some issues. Any issues besides Iraq. You’re both Senators, let’s do something in Congress for a while. We’ve got time before 2008.

Obama, how about a platform of ideas to spark my interest. So far, the only thing you’re offering is a beautiful smile, and a lot of charisma. Makes me want to marry you, but not necessarily to vote for you.

Hillary, you are proving to be exactly what you are, a professional politician who happens to wear a dress. Please, give me a reason to support you besides your gender, it ain’t enough.

Fred Thompson, please don’t throw your hat into the ring. Your flip flops between acting and politics makes you seem very untrustworthy. If you’re bored go ask David Wolf to write another Law and Order series where you get most of the face time instead of just two minutes of phony prosecutorial pontification from your office.

Bill Richardson, how about the rest of us? There aren’t enough legal Hispanics in this country to put you into the White House without some input from the rest of us.

Dennis Kucinich, I take you seriously, but you don’t have a snow ball’s chance of winning. You’re still the short guy from Cleveland not the John Wayne types we Americans usually get bamboozled into voting for. Besides, you actually have a brain. But vegetarianism is not a selling point in this carnivorous country.

Rudolf Giuliani, your leadership during 9/11 was good. But then showing up Dubya is easy. Cheating on your wife and then marrying your mistress is not a career move. Neither is wearing a dress, unless you’re Hillary. You show a decided lack of follow through...from us attorney to mayor to now wannabe president? Your game may play in New York. It’s not working too well here in the Midwest.

Newt, who the hell wants a President named after a lizard, especially when he acts like one. Slimy. Your mea culpa about what you did to your wife, while persecuting Bill Clinton, isn’t good either. Do you really think the people will trade one hypocrite for another? They might, but it won’t be you.

Mitt Romney. I honestly have a problem with guys who follow religions that listed black people as subhuman as late as 1978. Your flip flops on LGBT issues and pro choice issues means you don’t have even a snow ball’s chance with me.

John McCain. I used to like what you said, way back in 2000, but you’ve got that flip flopitis going on too. Pandering to the right in order to get elected leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
If you do, by some chance get the nomination, selecting Joe Lieberman to be your running mate won’t work either.

And as for all the other guys whose names that I’ve forgotten, well that says it all doesn’t it. Keep your day jobs.