If I Wanted Government Up My Ass, I Would Fuck a Congressman

Forgive my bad attitude, but the GOP clown car just parked its anti female jalopy in my backyard.  Oh lucky me.

Saw my first Newt Gingrich ad last night. Messed me up so bad, I pulled out my Xena Collection and loaded episode one on the DVD player. Considering each of Xena's six seasons has about 20 episodes, I'm good until election day in November.

Newt Gingrich on my TV makes me want to hurl. I'll leave the throwing up to Santorum, who is determined to replace the Constitution with the Bible, which is bad luck for me if he succeeds.

Even the possibility of a Santorum Presidency has me talking my dad into giving me a gun, packing my vehicles with supplies and driving deep into Central America never to return to the good ole US of A. No problema, soy habla espanol e portuguese e francais.

Santorum is leading here in Ohio, the home of Oompa Lumpa John the speaker of the house and John-boy Kasich, the clueless. Just what we need, the three stooges reunited in O-high-O. Frothy, Orangy, and Dimwit. Damn!

Makes me so happy, I could just spit. This week is going to be soooooooo much fun! Yeah, about as fun as one of those intravaginal ultrasound probes these fools intend to inflict on women, claiming it is good for a woman's mental and physical health.

I gotta suggestion guys....want to make women feel better? Kill yourselves! Just take a gun and put it to your left temple and pull the trigger. I guarantee women all over the country will feel better.

Honey, “ I've got a headache” will never again be uttered in America. Go ahead, do it for the team, right Frothy? You're used to bending over and taking it for the team, right? Not that Flipper and Lizard-boy need any schooling on assuming the position. After all they've been big time GOP insiders for a very, very long time.

I mean really, the primary is still a week away and yet we Ohioans have been inundated with political commercials since January.

First came Karl Rove and his Crossroads GPS  prevarications. Then came the candidate specific Super Pacs. Now come the candidates, Romney, Santorum, Gingrich and I guess Paul, maybe a little later since his followers seem to be collecting money on the side of the road like homeless people.

I am ready to vote today. In fact, let's call the primary and hold the election now. Get this crazy shit over with now. It is already tired and overplayed.

We know the outcome. Mitt Max Headroom Romney gets the nomination, since this is Amerikka and as we all know the person with the most money wins.

ie, Romney has more money than the Hobbit, or Lizard-boy or Frothy the Snowman. And, he has the backing of the GOP bigwigs. Most important, he looks like a president with his straight Aryan jawline, his plastered in place helmet hair,  $5000 dollar suits, blond trophy wife who has given him five strapping male offspring to showcase his family values.  So he will eventually be given the nomination, brokered convention or not. Doesn't matter.

Once he wins, he can change his name to TOAST!

Now back to my DVD collection.

Frothy's Got the Wheel and Gone!

Another day, another change at the top of the GOP pop charts. This time it's Little Ricky Santorum taking over the driver's seat in the clown car.

The latest polls give him a three percent advantage over the Stiff, otherwise known as Willard, or Mitt or Max as in Headroom Romney. Ron the bigot goat Paul is in third, followed distantly by the suddenly silent Puffy Messiah, the self proclaimed savior of the world, Newt Gingrich.

Let's put this into perspective shall we.

The really, really big story that the main stream media is not covering, is that NOBODY.....and I mean....NOBODY is showing up to vote at these caucuses and primary votes.....NOBODY.

All you heard last week was the Little Ricky swept three states....HE WON THREE...count em...THREE STATES!

Man! Frothy really took it to Romney...didn't he, said the MSM....But like Billy Preston used to sing...”Nothin' from Nothin' leaves Nothin'...ya gotta have somethin', if ya wanna beat Obamaaaaaaaaaaa....” Okay, I added that last part.

The turnout in Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota, I believe....was less than 20% collectively. I heard it was actually around 2% in Colorado and 6% in Missouri...and the media reported that Santorum won 30% of the vote in Colorado!  30% of 2%. hmmmmmmmm....What's that, two registered voters and the janitor walking through the room.

“Nothin' from Nothin' leaves nothin'”

Today, the MSM has Frothy surging based on the latest poll numbers. That's the word they are using...SURGING! And they say, Romney's about to lose his home state of Michigan...not that he lives there...Daddy Romney...you know the one born in Mexico...used to be governor of Michigan...Stiff er Mitt grew up there...I wouldn't call it his state...but the MSM describes it as such, so I'll run with that.

Okay, say this scenario plays out with Santorum barebacking Romney, to win the nomination. Do ya really think the rest of us will open wide and swallow? Hmmmmmm?

Frothy absolutely hates women. He is a general in the GOP war on women. According to his book, he is against women working outside the home. He doesn't think we need birth control or contraception. He says we must carry our rapists baby to termination regardless of the circumstance surrounding conception.

He sided with Komen against Planned Parenthood.

I would imagine he probably doesn't think that rape is a crime based on his past statements.

He has no stated use for Black people, Hispanic people, LGBT people or poor people. I would guess that if by some quirk of fate that he does make it to the White House those FEMA concentration camps will suddenly be put to use for those of us not of anglo saxon or aryan origin.

He is against marriage equality and civil rights in general for anyone other than WASPS.

The last time Santorum ran for office he was an incumbent Congressman. It should be noted that he pissed off his district so badly that they turned him out of office by the largest margin ever for an incumbent to lose, in the history of this country.

And he hasn't changed. This year, he's doubled down on the BS that got him thrown out of office in the first place.

Yet a very small part of the GOP wants this guy to win and apparently the more sensible portions of the GOP are going to stand back and let happen. And the MSM is missing the big picture of what is going on.

I say “oh well.”

Maybe the GOP moderates are actually going to cross the line and vote for Obama..that couldn't happen...could it?

National polls are indicating that this scenario may play out regardless of who wins the GOP nomination.

"Frothy Toast"....good name for a B-grade porn star...bad name for a president...

Little Ricky Calls it Quits, Drops Out of Presidential GOP Scrum

Little Ricky going home to work on his Texas Secession speech....

I always heard that god don't make mistakes, so I guess Sarah and Christine and Herman and Michele and now Little Ricky must a been lyin' through their teeth when they said god told em to run for president. If he told em to run, he apparently didn't mean for them to win.

It wasn't god talkin' to em. It must have been the voices in their head talking louder than usual. Or maybe it was just caucasian arrogance telling them that any ole white guy or gal was good enough to beat the Black man in the White House.

Apparently you still gotta be a politician to serve in DC and like him or not, the target of all their animosity is a very good politician.

Tough to beat....Not that he's had to work at it while the clown circus plays dates throughout the country.

Or maybe he is the one who god is really talking to. We'll never know, because the tall stoic mocha commander in chief doesn't reveal himself very much, to us, anyway.

The Grand Old Party is down to four choices unless they can talk somebody else into the race. They have perennial candidate Willard Mitt Max Headroom Romney (he's the rich one, the great white hope one), Then comes Ron Paul the elder ( The Hobbit) another perennial candidate who never seems to get anything done in the form of legislation been there all this time and has only passed one bill out of 600 something sent forward.

Then there is Saint Rick Santorum (the Pope's puppet and Howdy Doodie's long lost brother in a sweater vest), and last but not least slime ball Newt Gingrich.

I always hesitate to put Gingrich in this race because it is sooooo obvious from his campaign that he is actually running for dictator of America. One would think with all those history degrees that he would know the difference between the president of a republic and a head dic, er dictator in charge.

The final four are still on message...their goal is to trash the economy and the country...they hate women...they hate minorities and blacks in particular and they want to turn the world backward to 1862, when all they had to do was to kill the minority (Indians, Mexicans or slaves) to get what they wanted.

So now that we know that Mitt didn't win Iowa, who is going to blink next? Is the fix in for Romney? Or will Santorum knock him off and open the door for Lizard boy to slither through....Forget Paul...he is equally despised by his party as well as the opposition.

We will just have to wait and see, won't we?

Politic Wars-The War Against Obama

Not so long ago in the galaxy that we inhabit.....

The brothers Koch, twin wizards, the pair
Put out a call to their champions,  make haste to the state of  New Hampshire.
They have only one goal, and that is  to find,
One among them  strong enough to retake DC
Solely for the purpose of kicking out the rabble in the White House, you see.
The brothers want Obami-wan and Princess Michelle, gone,  vanquished, returned to Chicago. Out of sight...out of mind...out of the way
of the real  masters of the universe, who always rule the day.

A whole round table of champions answered the call
But only seven showed up, veteran warriors all.

The head of the table claimed by Sir Mitt of Mormon,
A presidential specimen if ever there was one.
All spit shined and polished with nary an out of place hair,
No substance, all talk, no real thoughts to share.

Enter, Sir Newton, who just lost his army,
He  vows to fight  on alone, but only if necessary.
He has convinced himself in the world that he inhabits,
The little people love him and desperately need him
To toss out the knaves who are ruining their days.
So Newt answers the call with his lady at his side
Macbeth she is named by the media who hide
out of her reach when she passes by.

Sir Herman of Cain, the pizza man king
Thinks he's ready to step into the heavyweight ring
He's come to believe that he is the next great white hope,
No James Earl Jones here, he's as bad as the pope.
Rescuing America is what he plans to do,
Pepperoni pizza for all
Unless you prefer tofu.

Sir Paul the libertarian is at it again,
Says the world is finally coming around to his way of viewing
Not sure what that means, but I'm sure he will tell us when he so deigns
No newsletter for him, Paul will just talk at us, instead.
Past newsletters you see are very bigoted in tenor,
Not wise  in the biracially brown world that is nearly upon us.
Deny bigoted thoughts, he can't because it is obvious
His demon spawn named Rand has memorized
both chapter and verse, using it as a gameplan
to conquer earth.

Sir Timothy T-Paw Pawlenty,  Minnesota's Vanilla Ice,
searching for the beat, looking for a pulse
trying to find his voice among the cacophony of noise.
Drowned out by the other more vocal crew.
Easily overlooked, doesn't stand out.
Blink and you miss him
Not surprising, no doubt.

Sir Rick of Santorum, don't know why he surfaced.
Long thought politically dead, killed by the verbal poisons
regularly spewing from his mouth, and rumbling through his head.
Hates women and gays and lesbians too.
Black people don't stand a chance
if little Ricky Sunshine makes it through.

And last but not least is the Lady Michele
she of the deer trapped in headlights stare
oft blinded but never at a loss for words,
which often come  garbled,  spilling out nonsensical rhymes
leaving only  confusion and mystification in their  unfocused wake.

The seven stood their ground, talking points imbedded,
rehearsed over and over until convinced they really said it.
Nothing new did they add to the political conversation.
It was old talk..2008 talk..we've heard it before,
There is no surprise, here.  The only real message
laid on the table last night, was to take down Obami-wan
 and turn back the clock.