The Dick Edition

Soooooooo, when did poor people become the enemy in America? Or the unemployed, for that matter. Why is anyone who is making less than a quarter million per year walking around with a target on his or her back?  Suddenly, everyone who has not  been gifted with a trust fund from daddy, or has lost his or her job in this tanking economy, through no action of their own, is in the cross hairs of every self proclaimed pseudo-christian knuckle dragger deficit hawk currently holding public office.

Some clown who claims to represent the people of north western Ohio has introduced a bill into the State Legislature calling for drug testing of all people who need public assistance in order to feed their kids. Going one step further, this dick-wad also wants to drug test anyone filing for unemployment benefits, as well.

 In fact, his measure is written so broadly as  to capture anyone getting a check from the state. So that should mean mandatory testing of clown-boy himself and his fellow dicks and dickettes in Columbus, since they are paid by the State.  And I'd be willing to bet his medicare/retirement benefit receiving Momma won't be too happy when she is told she needs to pee into the receptacle in order to get her state money, either.

Dumb ass.

Clown-boy wants the potential recipient to pay for the drug test first, so the State won't have to. If the pee comes back clean, then the potential recipient gets reimbursed for the cost of the tests.

Question-If a person has no money to buy food or housing...where the hell are they going to get money to pay for a drug test? I would surmise that this type of legislation is called "preventive lawmaking." In other words make it so hard to get assistance that most won't even try.

Guess his next proposal will be to reopen the Ohio Penitentiary as a debtor's prison, because you're gonna need to send the folks with no jobs or paychecks and their families somewhere after they get kicked to the curb.

I can see it now "Buckeye Gardens!" your last stop on the poverty slide...stone walls and floors, wall to wall mold and lichen...19th century 24/7 security...cute little jumpsuits.... no need to shop for new clothes...your choice of pets to share your rations....no wifi, cable or smartphones!  All of the comforts of home packed inside a six by nine foot cell complete with a stainless steel commode and overhead spotlight for reading or relieving...

Dick-head!

Speaking of dicks....That battery powered muppet with no pulse named Dick Cheney (ever notice how Cheney resembles spy 1 and spy 2 from the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons?), has surfaced again to promote his version of the world, written with the help of his daughter, Liz "I am the straight one," Cheney.

So what's he doing protecting his legacy or rewriting history to fit his warped sense of reality? This mutt-puppy would have us believe that Dubya was a puppet (I can buy that), that Condi was a cry baby (bullshit) and that General Colin Powell was wimp, a coward and a liar (blatently offensive bullshit).

Cheney should have subtitled his book "how to be an asshole in 30 easy chapters." Somebody please pull the plug on this heartless, smug and self aggrandizing SOB.

Better yet...let's put him on trial for war crimes against humanity.

Dick!

Knowing Jack About Dick

I am the last person in the world who should be writing about penis. There are none in my life, no real honest to god attached-to-a-body kind of penis that swings freely between the legs of some of my brothers as well as some of my of sisters.

I haven't seen real live penis since I changed my youngest nephew's diaper and found out it is true what they say about Black men...damn! “at a month old!” Whoooo-eeee!

I've been honest about my sexual orientation so that when I tell you that the only little blue pills on my dresser are Aleve and the only dick that I come in contact with is battery powered or hangs from a leather harness strapped around the waist of a beautiful woman, ya'll know where I'm coming from.

Despite the convoluted theories of Sigmond Freud....I don't suffer penis envy... Never have....To me it is a useless appendage...Who needs a body part where you constantly walk around touching it to make sure it's still there........What?

I don't need the drama...My body parts are either attached or they're not..all of em are hanging at my age, anyway...as long as they don't drop off...I'm okay....

I mean, really, male body parts are the last thing on my mind...They play no part in my world....

Until this week....

Two times this week....penis conversation has erupted on my computer....Presidential penis conversation no less.…

I thought the Birthers were done....Their phony African birth certificate had been discredited...and they had been laughed off the six o'clock news...

But noooooo!.......Now they want a peek at the Presidential Johnson....They want to see if Obama is circumcised...

Because according to them...if Obama is not circumcised......then he was not born in America....

Why do they suppose this....Because...They say ...circumcision is the law in America....

Well, Au Contrair, Mon Frere.....

See the problem with banning books, refusing to be educated beyond third grade church Sunday school, and listening to walking wastes of oxygen like Rush, or Glenn or school dropout Karl Rove, is that when you do decide to join in the public debate, you come off sounding like the ignorant, uneducated ass that you are....

Circumcision has never been the law in America. It has been a sometimes widely adopted policy in America...But it has never been law..

The practice of circumcision dates back to the Egyptians who used to force it upon their slaves circa 3000BC. It is a religious practice for Jews and Muslims.

The Greeks and Romans passed laws forbidding it...calling it what it is...genital mutilation..

But leave it to America to mess things up....

Circumcision was pushed by some silly fundamentalist health reformer named John Harvey Kellogg, the same Kellogg who invented corn flakes, by the way....

Kellogg wrote in a book in 1888 claiming that circumcising boys would keep them from engaging in that nasty practice of self love, otherwise known as masturbation.

He said;

"The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement." -John Kellogg, “Plain Facts for Old and Young”

And he wasn't the only sick f*** walking around with these ideas. I'm not even going to address the fact that this fool also advocated pouring acid on a woman's clitorus to keep her from enjoying herself...

I need to breathe a minute and compose myself...

These so called educated fools had people believing that masturbation caused consumption, heart disease, made you go crazy and could make you want to kill yourself.

Now, I've have had sex to die for... but usually with a partner...not from solo masturbation...

And you know one of your dumber relatives told you that lie about hair growing on your palms if you did it..

When immigrants flooded American shores back in the 1800's, circumcision became a sign of gentrification and class. In other words, that cleanliness was next to godliness and you weren't clean unless you'd been circumcised according to Victorian mores of the time.

They used this as yet another way to discriminate against the newer immigrants fresh off the boats. American men were circumcised, ugly dirty immigrants, were not...

How did they know....did a man walk up to a woman that he wanted to get to know and after tipping his hat, promptly drop his drawers, whip out his thing and wave it at her with a big smile on his face and say,

“see, ma'am, I'm a American gentleman” I ain't no Irishman.”

There are no, and never have been medical imperatives mandating circumcision. It is a practice driven by the usual screwed up mores of perverted and phobic fundamentalists, the sames ones fighting gay marriage and LGBT equality rights today...

You can bet that the medical profession goes along simply because it is another way of getting paid for yet another useless medical procedure.

And that brings me to the Center for Disease Control, which is in the process of putting together another medical mandate that would reportedly recommend that babies be circumcised at birth as a way to combat the spread of the HIV/AIDS virus.

In Africa circumcision seems to keep men from becoming infected with AIDS after having sex with an AIDS infected woman, according to one report going around.

However, the ease of female to male virus transmission has long been a topic of controversy....It has proven to be an extremely rare way to get the disease....

and the problem is...men lie...about who have they have sex with...it's easier to blame women rather than to admit they have sex with men...and when determining how a man becomes infected all the doctors do is to ask him, how it happened...

Whatever....Circumcision does nothing to prevent the circumcised man from infecting women or other men, for that matter..

The main route of transmission is still men having unprotected sex with other men...

Straight Black women would not be served either, and they are the largest group being infected in America today, because they continue to have unprotected sex with men who lie about with whom they sleep...

So why is the CDC going there and repowering this circle jerk?

This mandate, due out later this year, reportedly is going to also recommend that grown men submit to circumcision as a means of fighting HIV transmission....in addition to circumcising babies...

Why?

The mandate does not address the issue as it exists in America, which is that straight Black women are seriously at risk of infection...

So we have a bunch of simpletons who want to check out the presidential member....

and we have a bunch of lazy bureaucrats who are apparently trying to convince people that they are doing something to help the Black community in its battle with AIDS..

Okay...if you say so...

I'm going back to my dickless world and not think it about it for awhile..