Jim Barack The Hammer Obama Shaft Kelly

I'm at that point in the blaxploitation movie on loop in my head, where I'm ready for some action. We know who the good guys are, we know who the bad guy is, and we know who is supposed to be saved and why.

I'm ready for the big chocolate gun carrying, Jim Brown lookin' actor to whip it out and tell everybody;

“we got to go this way, 'cause if we go back we die, 'n I ain't ready to die just yet!”

The alpha male has spoken....the paler hued Beta Boy glares, and makes an ugly face, like he's going to do something. But he knows on a good day, he can't whip this Negro's ass in a fair fight. So reluctantly, Beta Boy drops his show for the ladies and turns in the direction that Chocolate Thunder wants to go, and starts walking, while the rest of the group meekly follows. No way are they getting in between these two fools, because while they quietly admit that Beta boy, may be their preferred cup of tea, they also know he don't know his ass from a hole in the ground and is totally useless in this situation.

Chocolate Thunder may be straight up crazy, but he knows what he's doing and can help them get home alive, and like all good Negroes, he is going to sacrifice himself and die so that all the good folks can live a better life, while remembering him fondly in their dreams of the good ole days.

So who would you follow? Camera ready Beta Boy or Crazy as a bedbug Chocolate Thunder?

Easy answer for me...I'm going with crazy, because sometimes the tried and true won't work and you can never go back and sometimes you can never go home again. So you keep marching forward until you see daylight or the end of the trail or the town located just over the hill.

President Obama was supposed to be the one. He was supposed to be the Jim Brown-Chocolate Thunder crazy, who was going to ride into DC and teach all the status quo Beta Boys and Catatonic Neanderthals how to save the people.

But what we've gotten so far, from Obama, is a weak imitation of Carlton, the dimwit cousin from Fresh Prince. All flash but so far, no substance.

I am truly troubled by all this talk of backing up and backing away from Health Care Reform, just because Ted Kennedy's seat was lost in Massachusetts.

One seat, people...ONE STUPID SEAT!.....That still leaves an 18 seat majority in the Senate. It's still a Democrat majority...I don't see the problem. Beta Boy Scott is singing the same song as the rest of his frat club-no plan, no clue. So the majority has to work a little harder. That's why it's called a job!

The American people or those who still have jobs, work everyday, without health care, without guaranteed holidays or carved in stone 4600-dollar yearly pay raises.

Now comes President Obama's first State of the Union Address and from the news reports, he seems more intent on placating us with peripheral bullshit then with delivering the goods. We don't need no stinkin' bipartisanship. We don't need feel good. We don't need 156 different ways to say “Change” in the course of a one hour speech, before a house full of unctuous people pretending to care.

Just once, I would like to see a State of the Union speech where all these fools sit on their hands and listen, quietly to what is being said.

We don't need the pep rally. I don't even care if they twitter to their follower twats, as long as they do it quietly and STFU!

So what should Obama say and do in his State of the Union Speech?

The American people need a jobs program. It's gone way past trickle down, need to work through the system kind of fixes. The guys at that top are doing what they always do, sitting on the money and jamming the feeder pipes so that nothings leaks down or out to the masses.

The American people need some liquid plumber, pronto. They need a powerful motorized snake to unclog the drain and get folks back to work. “F” the system...as in flush the system in order to get it going. We thought Obama would use an executive order or two to mandate some work projects to begin yesterday.

And to make sure that minorities get their fair share, open an office where minority workers or independent workers...those not allowed into the trade unions...to sign up and get hired and put to work alongside the union guys... If a contractor can't or won't use the independents, then his company can't work the project. This does away with the contractors who can't find anybody to work for them except illegal aliens.

Unemployment in my neighborhood is about 20%....yet....there is a lot of renovation going on the houses here.....all of it being done by whites and Hispanics.....in a nearly 100% Black neighborhood...now how does that happen? Not only do we no longer own the homes, we can't get work on them either. And you can bank that its happening everywhere else, too.

After he talks about Jobs, Obama needs to get back to the alphabet...DADT, DOMA, and ENDA. No more talk that it is going to happen. We need to know when it is going to happen. What day is it going to happen? The future is here, now.

Finally, he should now have a real plan for health care reform instead of that bill which is really an insurance industry subsidy program like the stimulus/subsidy program was for Wall Street. Dropping the age limit on medicare to give America what he and Congress already have in their own health care would be a start.

Better yet....why not just cancel the speech....and sit on camera and sign executive orders that really jump start the economy and let the people see that Chocolate Thunder has arrived and is ready willing and able to do crazy for the people in order to get this country back on track.

Bengals Bashing

Let me say right up front, I’ve never been a Bengals fan. In the beginning, back in 1969, to me, they were the “new hotness, ” as in finally, Cincinnati has a professional football team to go along with the Redlegs and the Royals.

Cincinnatians my age learned football from the Cleveland Browns who fielded players with names like Marion Motley, Lou “the toe” Groza, Leon Kelly, and of course, the great, great Jim Brown. They played smash mouth football against the Giants, or the Baltimore Colts. Anyone remember Johnny Unitas or Sam Huff? I grew up with these guys. They taught me the game because it was the only thing on television, besides preachers trying to convert me and trick my parents into sending them money. There was no cable. We had to watch football, or go play quietly in our room with our broken toys, since it was too cold to play outside. The Bengals came along in 1968 or 69. I was already a half formed adult. My attitude was set. Bengals!? Please.

The Bengals were brought to town by the man who owned the Browns. He brought them with no creativity, nothing to imply that they were anything other than a shadowy reminder of the real team that he left on the banks of Lake Erie. I mean look at it....the Bengals have the same colors as the Browns, only with stripes. The Bengal name may have been historical because there was a Cincinnati Bengal team in the American Football League in the 30's, but the name still echoes back to the Browns. The names begin with a “B” for those of you who can spell. And from the start, there didn’t seem to be the same amount of love, respect and support from the Brown family that went into their original creation, the Cleveland Browns. There never seems to be enough money or trust to bring absolute quality football to the Queen City. Something was always lacking, even when they went to the Superbowl.

There were good guys, good talented guys who suited up for the Bengals. I know several of them, and they’re not going to like what I’m saying. But I think, based on what I’ve heard them utter over the years, they believe things could have been better, too.

I still carry a sweet spot for the Browns, but my allegiance changed with my city of residence. I lived in Chicago with the Bears, the Chicago Bears of 1985-86. The shufflin’ crew. The baddest defense in the whole wide world, period. Superbowl Champions. The only team that pulled me out of the house to go to a victory celebration downtown in subzero weather with 3 million other happy fools.

When the Bears weren’t playing, there was Michael, no last name needed. I’ll save basketball for another day because Cincinnati treated its pro basketball team like ugly step children, too.

But back to the Bengals, I’ve been home for several years now and I’m not watching as much football as I used to. When I do, it’s probably not the Bengals. I keep giving them a shot at my heart. I will turn them on, but I usually find something else to do or to look at midway through the first quarter.

I mean, I tried to watch when Carson was anointed quarterback god. He was okay. But after his injury he kept hanging his passes exposing his receivers to the possibility of dangerous hits from d-backs. I cringed and had to turn away when TJ and Ocho went up for the ball. I breathed a sigh of relief when they came down okay.

I’ve seen season ending hits, many times....Paul Warfield, for example. I don’t like guys to be hurt when a return to basic quarterback mechanics could solve the problem.

I was happy when Marvin Lewis was brought to town on a lot of levels. But I don’t know what’s going on there. Seems like his authority is being undermined by the front office. Seems like the same guys who are choosing pitchers for the Reds are selecting the Bengals new talent.

Or maybe it’s in the water. I don’t know. But play like I saw on Sunday means I’m going to be watching someone else for a long time to come.

My alma mater is kicking butt....Orange Bowl? Who’da thunk it? I may even watch on New Years day. And there is always women’s sports.

Cincinnati even has a female professional football team, founded by none other than Icky Woods, himself. The Cincinnati Sizzle plays some for real football. I was skeptical until I went to a game. They play at La Salle High School on Saturdays. I was impressed and finished the season out watching them play. And since I’m a people watcher, it was really cool to watch the young men in the crowd give the women player respect, not just woman respect.

The Sizzle is good football. They don’t play for money, although they deserve it.

But what to do about the Bengals? I don’t know....fire the team and start over? I would keep Marvin, give TJ some real respect, keep Hall, Dahani Jones, Gathers and a few others....and find someone who can teach tackling. With few exceptions they don’t seem to know how. Up front blocking on offense is also a problem. Quarterbacks can’t connect if the pocket keeps collapsing
especially since our QB Carson is not a scrambler. Did I say dropped balls, too?

Maybe they can sit in on Bearcat practice...find out what Kelly is doing...then go try it out on Sundays. At this point, it can’t hurt.