SECEDE? Nigga Please, “Git Yo Shit Outta My House!”

Boy... my inner Bernadette jumped outta my chest when I read this story. Did you know that in the wake of Obama's re election last Tuesday, more than 100,000 people politely petitioned the White House for permission to take their State and secede from the Union.

You can read the entire piece of bullshit right here.

“Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these, ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it and institute new government.”

That's from the United States Constitution, which these “makers” cite as their justification for leaving and forming their own country. They don't mention President Obama by name, but rest assured these are the same assholes who have been jumping up and down claiming they are going to take back their country from the “pimps, whores and welfare brats” who voted for the “Kenyan.”

Let me buy you a clue, geniuses....Secession is treason, period. There is nothing polite about it. You either shoot and take it, if you can, or you shut the fuck up, die or go to jail. Remember that thing called the Civil War?

If you actually read anything besides the classic comics version of United States Government rules, regulations and contracts, you would know that there is only one state that could possibly and legally secede. That would be the great State of Texas, and I emphasize the word “possibly.”

As citizens, you are always free to go. Make like a pilgrim. Pretend you're Christopher Columbus and strike out in a boat. Re enact the Middle Passage in reverse. But you can't take the country with you. The land does not belong to you. It belongs to the people of the United States of America.

And, no we don't want you camping out in our backyard, either. When you leave, take your shit, strap it on your back, your wife's back or on top of the car along side the dog and drive north or south til you get to the border.

At the crossing, give back your American passport, if you have one, renounce your citizenship and then hit the accelerator, and drive to where ever the fuck you can find happiness.

A couple things.....driving north will take you to Canada, a primarily white country that has a reasonably good relationship with it's browner, indigenous predecessors. Bear in mind that the country is a bit more socialist than your old home country and just about everybody speaks French.

Or you can drive south into Central America. But then you immediately run into a bunch of short brown people...everywhere. And it gets worse, since history tells us that more slaves were sold to Central and South America, then ended up here in the good ole USA.

You'd know that if you ever cracked a non Texas made history book.

Whatever. No ill will intended... Via con dios....means be safe and kiss every part of my butter scotch American ass.