Flotsam and Jetsam

Okay, Bush stands up back in 2001 outside the rubble that was once the world trade center and says this country is going after the terrorists by following the money. He promised to cut off the funds that made 9/11 possible. Since that time, periodically this government has issued press releases touting its success at freezing alleged terrorist bank accounts around the world. Dubya and company has been doing exactly what it said, following the money trail and bragging about it openly.

Now, back to the future, last week, the New York Times writes a story about how our government is following the money tracking alleged terrorist funds. but the GOP is calling the report an act of treason and saying that the NYT should be held criminally accountable. Why?

The New York Times didn't break the story. They reported something that was already known, maybe in greater detail, but not something new. In reporter parlance, they fleshed it out a bit. According to reports they even told Dubya and company about the story before hand.

So I say again, what is the problem here?

Looks like another attempt at misdirection away from the important stuff again. I don't care what they try to throw at us, who the gang of W tries to attack.....

It's still the economy, still the war, still the lies, still Osama, still Katrina, still "no child left behind," still the blatant destruction of the American middle class, still social security and medicare, and still the attempts to codify discrimination into law.

-*-

The one thing I give the GOP credit for is having a "plan B." Everyone should always have a plan B in case the first plan doesn't work. Despite the fact that the GOP has screwed up so badly these past few years and is looking like it is headed for defeat in the next election, they may just pull it out cause they appear to have a "plan B."

Their Plan B....stealing the election. The 2000 vote was just a practice run in two states, Ohio and Florida. The result in that election has stampeded every state across the country to get rid of the hanging chads and replace paper ballots with touch screen electronic voting.

Problem is, any computer geek with half assed knowledge can now steal the election and alter votes according to a report issued earlier this week by a commission put together to study e-voting in this country. The new e-voting systems going into use don't have a back up paper trail or auditing procedures in place to track and identify potential fraud, if and when it happens. And we all know it's going to happen, sooner rather than later.

What's even more frightening is that many more states have elections officials overseeing the change and subsequent elections just like we have here in Ohio, namely one Kenneth Blackwell. Blackwell is the candidate for governor who has been sabotaging voting in Ohio for the past several years from his current position as Secretary of State, by putting into place quasi legal restrictions that have successfully disenfranchised voters, specifically Black voters.

So don't be surprised come 2008, The fix is already in and the Democrats are still standing around with their collective thumbs up their ass courting evangelicals in the GOP way.

Unleashing my Inner Butch

So many sporting events....not enough TVs in the house. What's a girl to do?

Juga Bonita-Brazil-Goooooallllllll!

The Championships at Wimbledon-Venus!

LPGA- Women's Open-Se Ri Pak returns- yeah!

Besides, who cares about Rush Limbaugh getting caught with viagra. It only confirms what we already knew, that he is nothing more than an over exposed limp dicked junkie.

Discuss......I'll be back later.

"That Colored Guy"

I have often wondered what it is about me that makes white people comfortable in displaying their bigotry in my presence. Why is it they say things around me that they wouldn't dare say around other Blacks, especially Black men.

Let me tell you what happened. I was standing in a group of people in a public location talking with four or five other people that I've known for awhile, all of them white, all of them male. It was your basic bullshit session, nothing heavy going on. It was the end of a shared night, everyone beginning to relax back into our individual existences before actually exiting the building.

We were joined near the end by a young man, white, 21 years old. This young man proceeded to insert himself into the conversation during the course of which he used a phrase that sent chills of anger down my spine. He used the phrase in a manner which told me he'd said it hundreds of times in his young existence. It was a common phrase for him and I would discern, of those around him. It was not something he gave any thought to using in my presence.

It took everything I could to control myself. I wanted to plant my size 9 up his ass and beat the living daylights out of him.

All the other guys in the group tensed as well, but I think it was more to wait and see how I would react to what was said. They were waiting to take their cues from me on how they should react, or not react. It certainly wasn't because they themselves had never before heard the phrase. It wasn’t because they''d never used it before. They just knew when to use it and when not to.

Despite my anger, my reaction was to ignore him. I gave him a pass on what he said. I was pissed and mute. He stood there shining in his ignorance totally unaware of how close he stood to the abyss.

" You hired that colored guy?"

That was the last time I'd heard that phrase. It was a question from my boss. He owned the company. I was his operations manager in charge of 150 workers, and I'd made a new hire for the production floor. I'd hired a temporary worker on after nine months of showing up and doing an excellent job. I felt he should have been rewarded. It was my call. After all, staffing was part of my job description.

I]d hired others, several in fact and never once been questioned, with one slight difference. Every other hire I'd made was of an Hispanic male or female. I was the only Black American in the company and I knew the boss thought I was Hispanic when he hired me.

You see I speak Spanish. He needed someone to speak Spanish to his preferred workforce and I got the job. I'm a fair skinned black, high yellow in ghetto terminology, and outside of my home state of Ohio have always been routinely mistaken for Cuban or Puerto Rican.

My boss made the same mistake when we met. He didn't ask, I didn't tell. During the course of our working relationship, I came to know his prejudices against Blacks. He came to know that I am Black, but he didn't change or soften toward my race. He just somehow drew a cocoon around me in his mind, removing me from my heritage. I'm okay, but the others are still colored or something worse. It stayed unspoken between us until that day.

"You hired that colored guy?"

I answered his question in the affirmative and then went back to my desk packed my stuff, returned to his office and quit. I haven't looked back. He has written me glowing recommendations in every job I’ve had since then. I guess that is his way of apologizing to me. But he still doesn't hire Blacks into his company, no matter how well they perform.

15 years removed from that incident, I hear it again, "that colored guy." I hear it from a young man, a boy far removed from the civil rights struggles of the past. A boy who has no power other than the power of words over me. Someone who is not my equal intellectually or in public standing. Someone who has doors open simply because of his gender, his color and who he knows.

He is someone for whom the racial troubles of this country are a thing of the past. For me, however, it's like it was yesterday.

It was and it still hurts.

Another Mojito, Please

Let me apologize in advance for my inattention to the news this week . I'm a sports junky and currently in junkie heaven with the second round of the juga bonita (world cup), "BRASILIA," and the beginning of Wimbledon. In my part of the world that stuff begins around 7am in the morning and lasts all day. I probably won't go outside unless one of the dogs threatens to break training and pees on my floor.

I have food, water and my electric and cable bills are paid and my couch is comfortable.

So, ya'll discuss while I veg.

I'll be back!

Deja Vu All Over Again

Okay,

They didn't have any weapons, no explosives, no vehicles, not even a slingshot.

They hung out in and around a warehouse somewhere in a Miami Florida ghetto, wearing black, standing guard and saying prayers.

They did express anger at America....wanted to blow it up starting with the Sears Tower in Chicago.

Apparently they tried to contact Usama Bin Laden and even swore allegiance to him.

They met this dude, let him into their group and who apparently promised the hook up with Al Qaeda but who turned out to be a fed snitch. They allegedly told him their desires and asked for 50,000-dollars to fund this jihad on America.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else besides me, who happens to be over the age of 21?

Does anyone remember the alphabet of the 60's and early 70's.... COINTELPRO? FBI? SDS? SNCC? SLA? BLF? BP?

This shit played out 30 years ago, only the government was hunting Black folks not Arabs. We've been thru this.

When something goes down in this country this government still looks for the nigger in the woodpile not the white boy hiding in the bush with the AK-47.

Yes the Towers were knocked down by Saudi Arabians (our allies), but the only other building blown up like that was done by a white American guy named Timothy.

We have home grown terrorist cells in this country. They are called Militias. They openly express their hatred of America and Americans of Color (any color but white). They are all over the country. They are organized, well armed and vocal.

So why is no one arresting them? Oh! I forgot they tried. Remember Ruby Ridge? Militia people shoot back and FBI guys get killed. Don't want to do that. Can't rely on that same shitty kevlar they've sent overseas with our kids on the front lines in Iraq.

I guess it's better to go after the kooky dashiki-less militants in black....non-meat eating, Muslim...marchin'....loud talkin'... trust anybody, soldiers of the ghetto..hanging out in the warehouse...with no means to accomplish anything, much less a revolution.

Makes a damn good photo op and gives lot's of publicity to this government's bogus war on terrorism.

F***ed Again

If that nut in North Korea who wants to fire missiles at the US needs some help with his aim then I've got the perfect target for him. I'd like to point him in the direction of Capitol Hill. One well placed missile would go a long way in stopping the silliness that passes for government in this country.

Think of how much money we could save as taxpayers if we didn't have to pay congress or put up with their automatic annual pay raises. They give themselves 3,300-dollars yearly and have been doing it since 1996. They decided to make it automatic so that if we taxpayers get pissed about it, they can honestly say to us constituents that they didn't vote for it.

Talk about games.

And today comes word that they have once again refused to vote an increase in the minimum wage after quietly okaying their annual increase last week. I guess poor folks don't need money. The minimum wage has been the same since 1996, but Congress has given itself seven raises during that same time.

Poor folks get 5.15 per hour which works out to little more then 10-thousand dollars a year. Congress makes in the area of 168-thousand dollars a year. Now if you compare congressional salary to the average CEO then you could say congressmen are getting screwed too, because the average CEO in this country makes 42,000 dollars per day. But that's food for thought for another day.

The reasoning behind the "no" vote is that raising the minimum wage would hurt businesses and small businesses in particular, say Republicans. According to the GOP, poor folks can't make more money cause business owners would be forced to eliminate some of their jobs in order to keep up with the pay hike for others.

So for poor people it's a no win situation. So take your five dollars an hour and be quiet about it. Bullshit ! We're talking a one dollar raise, not 3000-dollars.

Voodoo economics is alive and well and in practice in America.

Can Congress be impeached? Recalled maybe?

Last One Out, Turn Off the Lights

Over the years the general consensus about Cincinnati is that it's a great place to raise a family. Well that apparently is no longer true if you look at a recently released census report. According to the report, the Queen City lost 6.8% of its population between 2000-2005. Only one other city in the country has lost more.

The question is why. Why is Cincinnati on the road to becoming a suburb of Covington, Kentucky. Because that's what's happening. People are fleeing Cincinnati in two directions- north into the burbs and south into Kentucky. Northern Kentucky is booming. It's actually fun to cross the river these days. There are things to do there. There is Newport on the Levee. There is the aquarium. There are too many different restaurants and clubs to mention. Take your pick, there is plenty to get into. The aforementioned activities were things that were originally slated to be built on the Cincinnati side of the river. So what happened?

Cincinnati is architecturally and historically beautiful. It is pristine and clean. It has lots of green space. It has lots of Classical culture, museums, etc. It has sports. Yes the Reds and Bengals are wannabe professional sports teams, but they do provide some excitement once in a while.

But the city itself is nothing more than a lifeless man-made concrete canyon. The clubs are gone from downtown. The businesses have trouble doing business because there is no foot traffic. The last movie theater shut down several years ago. When there is a festival in town, several downtown restaurants choose to shutdown, preferring to do inventory instead. Yet they don't want to be called racists. I've never ever heard of a real businessman passing up making money to do inventory. Except for Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The business community yearly prostitutes itself for the Harley Davidson biker rally, while choosing to take inventory when the black bikers rally the very next week. More on that another time.

The City has become a ghost town watched over by a government mired in indecision and inactivity. It's like crabs in a barrel at city hall. Nobody working together in favor of promoting their own individual agendas.

The school system has been in steady decline for years. Crime is well publicized and the police are paralyzed. The city's image still suffers from misguided discriminatory civil rights legislation aimed at gays and lesbians. The measure has been repealed but the perception that Cincinnati is not an all inclusive community lingers on. The city's score on dealing with Blacks is also bad. Now we have an immigration problem, too.

More and more I run into people who having been born here chose to leave only to return to take care of family. That's the only reason they come back. Not for the atmosphere or livability of the city. They live here cause they have to and party elsewhere. Me too.

Like what's his name said..."All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

Having your Chocolate and Eating it too

Nestle, the big chocolate candy company is buying Jenny Craig, the giant diet company. If ever there was a case of playing both sides of the fence, this is one of them.

Nestle is reportedly paying 600-million dollars for the firm and will add it to its "functional food" line up. Does that mean my Nestle's crunch bar will now come in diet chocolate form?

Works for me.

I can just see it now, the Jenny Craig Nestle's Crunch bar coming to a supermarket near you.

I don't consider myself a chocoholic except during certain times of the month when I willingly eat anything including the wallpaper off the walls, but I would love to incorporate diet chocolate bars into my personal and ongoing battle with the junk in my trunk.

After all, if God wanted everyone to be anorexic and miserable, she would have never invented food.

Red Rover, Red Rover, Will Someone Please Come Over

You know, sometimes you have to go home and by that I mean you have to go back to where you came from and look at how you used to deal with situations in order to find the right solution. When I was a kid and some one said nasty things about a friend of mine, I was ready to jump into their ass to defend my friend, cause I knew my friend wasn't like that. I didn't worry about the consequences of my actions or my words. I was just about protecting my friend's back as I knew she would protect mine and together, I knew we would prevail. We were friends because we had things and beliefs in common.

So as I listen to today's political conversation, I am asking, "who has John Murtha's back?" He's still a Democrat isn't he? That's his "gang" isn't it? So why doesn't somebody, anybody step forward to stand alongside this man? Why are Howard and John and Hilary and even Bill letting this man take all the heat? Isn't he saying exactly what they believe, too?

I mean, I'm getting all kinds of emails asking me for money and to sign this petition and that petition. But I don't see anyone else in the gang acting like they really want to fight for what they say they believe in.

It's gotten so ugly that even the mini me that is Karl Rove is taking direct aim at Congressman Murtha, calling him out by name. Rove is that guy in high school who hung out with the big man on campus mopping up the sloppy seconds cause he couldn't get it on his own, paying for the privilege by doing the big guy's hatchet work so the big guy could keep his hands clean.

Murtha's not lying about the war in Iraq or making up stories about this White House and this President. Furthermore, if you believe the polls, the majority of Americans agree with him. Hell, he sounds more like my representative than the one who represents me.

If Murtha were running for President, I'd vote for him. He has been the only honest politician I've seen in a number of years. And we all know that the term "honest politician" is another one of those oxymorons, just like "compassionate conservatism."

Murtha is absolutely correct to say that what we have here is governance by arrogance or policy wrapped up in illusion.

So why are the other Democrats standing clear? Are they afraid of being tainted? Are they afraid the gang of Karl, Don, Dick and Dubya might come after them again? Do they think they can win the next election by being nice, agreeable and invisible?

There is nothing politically correct about politics. I keep waiting for some real throw down from the Democrats. But at this rate, I may be waiting a long time.

In fact, why don't I just start my own political party. I could get more done, that's for sure.

Anyone want to vote for a short black woman with a bad attitude toward the status quo?

Cincinnati: Home to Many Fruits and a Whole Lot of Nuts

Cincinnati, The Queen City, is aptly named. It is home to many queens most of whom proudly marched in Sunday's Pride Parade through Clifton and Northside much to the delight of a similarly fruity throng of rainbow clad happy people. I was one of them. It was a fun day.

Despite the sometimes oppressive and downright discriminatory nature of the city, fruits have always thrived here. The city is a veritable orchard when it comes to growing fruits. And with the city now making strides to leave the 19th century and enter the 21st by doing away with outdated draconian laws, it can only get more festive in coming years.

But the climate around here is also great for growing nuts and that's not necessarily a good thing. Some of the more harmless but fun nuts have gone national, like Jerry Springer, or Morganna the kissing bandit. . Some are just locally famous like Fife, rest in peace, lady, or the late Charlie Taft or Marge, no last name needed. There was a vibrancy, an aliveness, if you will in their nuttiness. They provided a spark and twinkle that is missing today from this once great city.

Others, however, are more dangerous in their nuttiness, like The Wilkes, husband and wife, Phil Burress, and lately, one Tom Brinkman. The Wilkes founded "Right to Life." Phil Burress is a reformed porn addict who campaigns for "community values." Tom Brinkman sponsors legislation aimed at women. He is the man behind a proposal in the Ohio State House that would ban all abortions, even for rape victims. There is a hearing today on the issue.

Were I living in a more enlightened State than the Great State of Ohio, I would not be too concerned about this piece of legislation making it into law. After all it completely contradicts federal law on the issue. But this is Ohio, home to a convicted Governor who is nephew of the aforementioned Charlie. It is home to wannabe governor Ken Blackwell, who uses his powers as Secretary of State to steal elections for the GOP among other seemingly questionable actions, and he is also from Cincinnati.

Considering Ohio was the swing state for re-electing Dubya to the White House for four more years of "compassionate conservatism," well you can understand my reticence for assuming that common sense and logic will prevail in knocking down this insidious measure.

Women have a right to choose, period. I get angry just having to feel that I have to justify my rights on any level to anyone other than myself. I, and I know there are other women who refuse to be returned to being second class citizens. I grew up back in the day of back alley abortions where women died after being violated by hacks with coat hangers. I remember that. It's not some history lesson for me. We ain't goin' back there.

This whole anti abortion movement is based on two premises that date all the way back to when men figured out how to write. One, that men need to propagate and live on, preferably thru their sons, and two, that women need to be protected and have decisions made for them by right thinking upstanding individuals, namely their husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers. Get the picture ? We haven't been property for a very long time, guys.

I don't know any woman who chooses routinely to have an abortion, or even wants to have one. I certainly don't know any women who enjoy getting raped.

The right to a safe abortion is simply one of many choices available, or would be available if this same movement and the Tom Brinkmans of the world would stop fighting sex education and knowledge about contraception in schools and on the internet.

One of the most horrendous things that this White House has done is to erase sex education information from all government websites. It has also successfully withheld federal funding in the fight to keep women safe.

The Tom Brinkmans of the world are not pro life or they wouldn't be about getting laws passed that kill women.

Corporate Behavior: Having it Both Ways

Today I ran across an article in the New York Times talking about how corporations are using personal living websites like Myspace. Com to check out potential employees.

Apparently what is happening is that employers are disqualifying otherwise good job applicants based on what they have posted on their personal websites.

Now I don't know about you, but I consider this a tremendous invasion of privacy, another one in this day and age. From what I've seen, most of what's posted on the internet, especially on these sites where kids and teenagers and college kids hang out is posturing, an attempt by the posteur to be "cool" or "kewl" as my nephew corrected me in one recent text message.

What potential employers find out is that the potential job applicant is a kid. He/she drinks, smokes, parties too much and has some fun, sometimes. Kids are learning life. They are learning how to cope. They are experimenting. And most of it, unless there are pictures, is probably not true.

The employers are looking at him for his first job, for goodness sake. They don't intend to pay him good money like he's an adult and would be the first to tell you that there is not enough experience to justify a bigger paycheck. So what's the beef? He/she didn't spring from the womb full grown with grown up values and common sense. The time on these websites is downtime, personal time, time where corporations have no say. Or do they?

There is a huge movement in corporate America to exert more control over workers' personal lives, all hidden behind the guise of making workers healthier. In other words, there is the move to ban smoking, inside, outside, on the sidewalk, in the car and in the home. A couple of companies have been allowed to fire people for coming to work with smoke-breath. There are now random routine nicotine pee tests being administered. The courts are backing them up. They do this as a means, they say, of controlling spiraling health care costs.


That's a load of crap. If they want to control something, take a look at the pay packages and golden parachutes of upper management. Talk about something out of control. I guarantee you in any corporation, if the CEO takes six months off, nobody would notice. But if the mail room takes 8 hours off, everybody notices and comes to a stand still. Now you tell me who should be making the money, the CEO or the guys in the mailroom?

Corporations have long done criminal background checks on both workers and potential workers. Some perform them every couple of months. Emails are being monitored. Anyone with a brain who works in corporate America knows you don't put anything in an email that you wouldn't say out loud in front of your boss or his boss.

At the same time, while policing the employees and potential employees, they aren't doing anything to stem the flow of run away profit and profit taking by upper echelon company officials.

And from what I've read, upper management is pretty good when it comes to partying too, if you happen to make it to CEO level.

But then the Ken Lays of the world didn't have personal websites back in the day for someone to check out before they got the jobs, did they?

Ann Coulter: Political Punditry's Paris Hilton

I've spent the past several years ignoring the "one note samba" that is political commentator Ann Coulter.

For those of you who don't know, she is a self described far right wing conservative who hates liberals and just loves her some George Bush.

She's got everyone up in arms this week for attacking four women who lost their husbands in the bombing of the World Trade Centers. Coulter accuses the women of reveling in the deaths of their spouses, using their deaths for political and monetary gain.

Coulter makes these accusations while traveling the talk show circuit to promote her latest book. She also doesn't see any problem with Dubya using 9/11 for his political purpose. Or maybe she just didn't see his campaign ads when he was running for re-election. People as busy as her rarely watch TV and I doubt she's even heard of TIVO.

The reason I ignore her is that she says things to get your goat. Things like, The Emancipation Proclamation should be repealed, she said that. Now I could get ugly, question her parentage and call her all kinds of racist, bitches, but one of us has to show some class and take the high road.

She gets off on the reaction that she draws out, much like a child. She makes illogical statements that she cannot defend, pretending to debate issues. She just repeats the same stuff over and over each time louder and louder, calls names, shouts down her interviewer if he doesn't agree and moves on to another outrageous position.

She does make a lot of money as a public speaker traversing the country, but does anyone take her seriously. I mean yes she says outrageous things but the first thing noted about her in nearly every introduction that I've seen has been that she is blonde, leggy and wears micro-mini skirts. Remind you of anyone?

I hope that when she crawls up on that big stage and stands there to greet her audience in the micro-mini, that she's not wearing patent leather shoes.

We already know she lives in a glass house and it's just a matter of time before it cracks...

Blackwell's Rules.....The Attempt to Control the Vote in Ohio

There is something terribly wrong with a system when a candidate for Governor can issue rules governing who can vote in an election. America is not a dictatorship form of government, so how is this happening? Well, it's happening here in Ohio where the Secretary of State is running for governor. And, the Secretary of State is in control of how State elections are conducted. He is the one who makes up the rules of play.

The man in question is Ken Blackwell. He has once again put into place "emergency" regulations that could possibly criminalize the work of voter registration workers. The rules appear to be another blatant attempt to shut down voter registration in Ohio.

Blackwell has a history of these kinds of tawdry tricks on the electorate. In 2004, he instructed county boards of elections to reject any registrations on paper that was the "wrong" paper stock. He backed down under harsh and wide spread criticism. But the order was in place long enough to get some registrations invalidated.

This time around He has come up with a rule that says paid registration workers, and volunteers who collect registrations, must PERSONALLY take the forms they collect to the election office.

Now organizations, like the League of Women Voters, for instance, generally have their volunteers turn in the forms to a supervisor who then takes them to the election office after first reviewing them for errors.

Blackwell's rule would make everyone involved in the exchange a criminal.

Blackwell also says the forms CANNOT be mailed to the election office. That would seem to be a violation of federal elections law.

Blackwell issued these edicts because he feels he has the backing of the Republican Controlled Ohio Legislature.

The moves are a clear grab at power and an attempt to keep the GOP in control of Ohio.

If Blackwell were as honest and as forth right as he wants us to believe then he would have given the election procedures control over to someone who has nothing to gain.

He does not deserve the power with which he has been entrusted.

24/7 365....All Day, Every Day

I don't know about you but I can't be anything other than what I am. Despite cosmetic possibilities in this day in age, when I shed the makeup and look into the mirror, I'm me. I can't be tall, cause I'm short. I can't be white, cause I'm black. I can't be male, cause I'm female. I can try to be right handed, but I'm not. I can try to be straight, but again I'm not.

Furthermore, I like me just the way I am. Well, almost. I need to lose some of the weight I've gained recently and I'm doing that. I need to get more active and lately I'm doing that too. So overall except for winning the lottery I'm okay.

But I have a problem with being pigeonholed. This is June and June is Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. You hear me? I said MONTH. I'm queer 24/7, 365, so why the hell am I expected to express it only during the month of June? Why should I have to hide my fabulousness for eleven months? Why can't I show it all the time?

Same goes for Black History Month in February. That one really pisses me off. February is the shortest month of all. We Blacks get screwed no matter what. I can't hide my Blackness. I sleep in my Blackness, shower in my Blackness and you're going to tell me I can only celebrate this Mocha Magnificence for 28 out of 365 days? Give me a fuckin' break and pardon me for not joining this party.

I even like my age...55 going on 56...for all you ageist muthafuckas who have a problem with middle aged/old people. I can do everything I used to do in my 20s. Some things are even better than in my 20s. Maybe not as fast and sometimes with a little more pain in the joints, but I can do them.

The only thing different about me is my growing impatience with stupidity and immaturity and a decided lack of tolerance for intolerance of other's differences.

So, yes I'm going to enjoy LGBT Pride this month and read an extra Black- authored book next February to celebrate my Specialness.

But if I feel any fabulousness creeping out in July and August, I'm going to let it happen.

Now, go home and leave me alone!

Bugs in My Gut...EW!

Three pounds of bugs in my intestine? 100 trillion tiny creepy crawly microbes living everyday inside my gut? Damn, I didn't need to know that. That is W.T.M.I....way too much information. And don't laugh, baby you got em too. We all do.

Humans have bugs. Bugs that live inside us and help keep us healthy if you believe the latest report in last week's journal Science. These microbial tenants live in our intestines, our colon, our nose, mouth, ears, on our skin and in our vaginas, if you have one.

In fact, according to the report, we shouldn't even think of ourselves as a single living organism. We should think of ourselves as a hybrid consisting of 10% human cells and 90% bacteria. Yuck!

The only reason, apparently, that we see each other as human is because the human cells are bigger than the bugs living in us and on us and that the entire 100 trillion bugs only equals three pounds of body weight. That's three pounds I'd love to lose.

The scientists who are conducting this on-going study tell us to be happy we have bugs cause otherwise we would die. We can't live without our bugs. So who's the host and who's the symbion? My internal movie theater is showing pictures of great white sharks swimming around with all those lampreys attached them sucking up shark cast off. Is that what's going on in my body?

By studying DNA, scientists have been able to determine some of the bugs or bacteria, if you will, make essential vitamins for us that humans cells are genetically incapable of manufacturing. Others make enzymes that break down certain stuff we need to function. Some of the bugs neutralize illness causing flavonoids, including some that cause cancer.

But some of em, according to the report, eat the digestive bi-product hydrogen gas and turn it into methane. They make us fart, people. They keep us from being over bloated. Farting contributes to the accumulation of the Earth's greenhouse gases which is not a good thing either.

So it's a toss up folks, what do you want to do....fart and kill the Earth slowly, or kill the bugs in your system and die quickly.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Think I'll just go back to bed and check back into my last nightmare.

Smoke, Mirrors and a Whole Lot of Bull****

Dubya the number one compassionate conservative is planning another push to write discrimination into the Constitution. In his radio address today he plans to bamboozle his conservative followers by telling them he really, really, really believes that marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that furthermore it should be law.

The amendment is scheduled to be voted on next week in the Senate. It is largely ceremonial since even if approved, it can't get the three fourth state's votes necessary to make it into the Constitution. But that's not going to stop them from trying. Dubya says it's not politics just heart felt conviction on his part.

Bullshit! The polls show he has lost his conservative base and is once again trying to wake them up so they will vote for all those minor GOP politicos standing on his coat tail in the upcoming mid term elections.

Witness Ohio Congressman Steve Chabot who's half heartedly trying to push Dubya away. Chabot's quoted in the Cincinnati Enquirer as saying he's disagreed with President on a couple of issues. That may well be true, but Stevie you voted WITH him 89% of the time. Give me a break. If Dubya says "jump" you say "how high" Please, go sit down. Better yet, trim that fringe you call hair.

Bush and his conservative base are bigots, plain and simple. These pseudo-Christians follow the teachings of the Bible only when it suits them. The only threat to marriage in this country is the heterosexual divorce rate which is hovering at 60%. Instead of worrying about what gays and lesbians are doing, how about dealing with the very real problems of the divorce/adultery rate in this country among straights.

Last time I looked the ban on adultery was still a part of the Ten Commandments and the TC was still a part of the Bible (go find the story of Moses, for those of you have never read the Bible or seen the movie). And if you believe the Bible, it also says "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." That is real compassion, and why compassionate conservative remains an alliterative oxymoron.

To paraphrase a former President IT'S STILL THE ECONOMY, STUPID!"

It's still the illegal war on Iraq. It's still the lies that got us into Iraq. It's the needless deaths of our young soldiers in the military.

It's inflation. It's sky high gasoline. It's tax breaks that only benefit the rich. It's out of control corporate America. It's no health care. It's failing Social Security.

It's the phony war on terrorism. It's the inability to help our own people following the devastation of the past hurricane season.

It's immigration and the failure to deal with it realistically.

There are indications that even Dick Cheney the shadow president has differences on this issue. He is allowing his Lesbian daughter to speak out finally, even if he hasn't spoken himself.

First Wife Laura also apparently has problems with this amendment considering some of her utterings lately. She is quoted by FOX News as saying that same sex marriage should not be used as a campaign tool.

Ya listenin' Dubya?

What's good for the Goose.........

Talk about hypocritical, Mexico has no right to talk when it comes to illegals in this country or theirs. Mexicans, Hispanics in this country, and those sympathetic to the plight of illegals in America have roundly criticized the US government for calling out the national guard to patrol our southern borders.

Well, let me tell ya, Mexico routinely has thousands of troops patrolling its southern border in a massive effort to keep Central Americans from crossing the border to work. President Vincente Fox called out the troops more than five years ago. In addition, since 1974 sneaking into Mexico is a criminal offense punishable by two years in prison.

And sympathizers want to scream at us? For the past several years Fox has been lobbying the US to upgrade the status of illegals here, read that amnesty, while his own government has granted legal status to only 15,000 plus illegals in Mexico.

Central Americans who work in Mexico live in the worst conditions, doing back breaking labor for $ 3.60 a day on the big coffee plantations. And guess what the plantation owners said when questioned as to why they don't hire Mexicans for the job.

The bosses said,"You can't depend on Mexicans. They don't work hard; they're irresponsible."

Sound familiar? The truth is just like in America, corporate can abuse the illegals because they are illegal. If they fuss, you can send em back to where they came from.

Now if the government will only get real on how much an additional 40 million people is going to cost us taxpayers.

"Whee Doggies!" Texas Talk for "What the F***!"

I guess New York must be on the White House's Shit List. Yesterday when the federal anti-terror funds were doled out, the Big Apple's cut got sliced by 40% while other cities like Louisville and Omaha (no need for state names, we know where they are) were given a bigger slice of the pie.

I have to go along with NY Mayor Bloomberg. He said and I quote,

"When you stop a terrorist, they have a map of New York City in their pocket. They don't have maps of any of the other 46 places or 45 places (that get funding),"

The feds reasoning for cutting the juice to NY was that there was nothing to protect, no monuments, no financial institutions or cultural icons and institutions that a terrorist might want to destroy in order to make a point. I guess not, since they blew them up the last TWO times they bombed this country.

What the hell is the Statue of Liberty? Oh I forgot, that was a gift from France modeled after a black woman, very low on the totem pole of things that should be remembered and saved. Maybe it would have gotten a better shake if we changed the name from Statue of Liberty to Condi's Lighthouse.

Louisville has the Kentucky Derby a great place to dress up and get smashed on mint juleps once a year. But Omaha? What are they protecting there? The only people who know where Omaha is are white supremacists and Christian identity militias. You can spot a middle eastern terrorist clear across the plain in Omaha long before he can plant his bomb.

Even my city, Cincinnati was given some anti terror money, but not as much as officials were thinking they would get. It's not like terrorists make their way to the Queen City either.

Maybe Cincinnati will put armed guards on the Delta Queen to keep the terrorists from migrating down the Ohio since the feds think they will bypass New York.

I imagine the money will be used by the Police force and Sheriffâ's department for some more toys to misuse on citizens.

A homeland security spokesman, while not being specific about how the funds were disbursed, summed it up this way;

"It's not so much fighting the last war, it's taking in the threat picture today, " he said. "We've got to apply dollars where they will have the greatest impact."

Translation: we put the money where the votes are. Nuff said.